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Tag Name "Fart" (95)

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A sneeze travels at a peak velocity of two hundred miles per hour. A burp, more slowly a fart, slower yet. But a kiss thrown by fingers- its departure is sudden, its arrival ambiguous, and there is no source that can state with authority what speeds are reached in its flight.
Tom Robbins
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You stand out like a fart in a church.
James Patterson
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We're here on Earth to fart around
Kurt Vonnegut
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As pissed as a fart in a vacuum cleaner.
Britney Spears
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Eggs! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!
Dylan Moran
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Atlantic reckoned we should use a top Yank producer and appointed one Eddie Kramer to the post. It turns out the guy was full of bullshit and couldn't produce a healthy fart.
Bon Scott
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Fart for freedom, fart for liberty—and fart proudly.
Benjamin Franklin
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Because nitrous oxide [released by nitrate-fertilised soil] is 296 times stronger than CO₂ at global warming and methane [cow farts] is about 26 times as potent as CO₂, the combined greenhouse effect of our livestock worldwide is greater than the sum total of all the cars, trains, busses, trucks, ships, airplanes and jets.
Thom Hartmann
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I suppose that the main benefit of being rich (over just being independent) is to be able to despise rich people (a good concentration of whom you find in glitzy ski resorts) without any sour grapes. It is even sweeter when these farts don't know that you are richer than they are.
Nassim Nicholas Taleb
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Spending so much time on the road, I get to fart all the time. Then when it's, like, Thanksgiving dinner and I'm sitting with my grandmother, I can't fart for, like, two hours.
Tom DeLonge
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Most people enjoy the sight of their own handwriting as they enjoy the smell of their own farts.
W. H. Auden
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[When] you're dying laughing because your three-year-old made a fart joke, it doesn't matter what else is going on. That's real happiness.
Gwyneth Paltrow
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I don't feel so good. Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. Excuse me. she said. I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that.
Janet Evanovich
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Jerry Ford is so dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time.
Lyndon B. Johnson
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There is nothing fiercer than a failed artist. The energy remains, but, having no outlet, it implodes in a great black fart of rage which smokes up all the inner windows of the soul. Horrible as successful artists often are, there is nothing crueler or more vain than a failed artist.
Erica Jong
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Some days I feel like everyone in my world has plugged themselves into my kidney. I'm so tired. But when you're having dinner with your kids and your husband and someone says something funny or you're dying laughing because your three-year-old made a fart joke, it doesn't matter what else is going on. That's real happiess.
Gwyneth Paltrow
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On the downside, to paraphrase Thom Yorke talking about the music business, we're still having to deal with the stench of the last fart of the dying corpse of this regressive vision that America is a white, middle-aged, male, conservative country.
Edward Norton
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Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's.
Jonathan Tropper
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My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away.
Jenny McCarthy
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At my age, you sort of fart your way into a role.
Donald Sutherland
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I'm not a fan of purposely farting in front of other people. If you have to fart, leave the room.
Tina Fey
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A happy fart never comes from a miserable ass.
Martin Luther
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I say what I think. I'm a real person, not some manufactured pop tart who's afraid to step out of the hotel room. I am flawed. I swear, I have the occasional cocktail, I pick my nose and I fart. I'm not running for any presidential campaign at the moment. I'm a sassy girl.
Katy Perry
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The average pregnant woman farts 15 times that!
Jessica Simpson
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