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Tag Name "Flatulence" (10)

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During job interviews, when they ask: 'What is your worst quality?', I always say: 'Flatulence'. That way I get my own office.
Dan Thompson
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Every schoolmaster after the age of forty-nine, is inclined to flatulence is apt to swallow frequently and to puff
Harold Nicolson
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When I heard that Hitler had problems with flatulence, it's funny. What - does that make him a funny man? No. It means he had funny moments when his rear end was speaking louder than his mouth.
John Oliver
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I think a lot of times dreams are nothing more than a kind of mental or spiritual flatulence. They're a way of relieving pressure.
Stephen King
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Compared to my talents, Whoopi Goldberg is like one of those fake plastic Buddhas you get at dollar stores. I mean really, I fail to see the humor in an overweight negro woman with dreadlocks, no eyebrows, and is named after a childish term for flatulence.
Zach Braff
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I got to play a funny part [in the The Master Of Disguise]. There was one thing my character did that involved flatulence and laughing at the same time - that was in the script - and that was basically what sold me on it. I really thought, This can't help but be funny. And when I saw the film, I was proud that I'd had those moments.
Brent Spiner
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[To Edward de Vere, Earl of Oxford, on his return from self-imposed exile, occasioned by the embarrassing flatulence he had experienced in the presence of the Queen:] My Lord, I had forgot the fart.
Elizabeth I
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The average person expels flatulence 15 times each day!
Jessica Simpson
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Loving difficult people will refine us. Perhaps only in heaven will our love be so perfected that we can actually like these people, too. St. Augustine spoke of a man who, on earth, had chronic gas problems in heaven, his flatulence became perfect music.
Scott Hahn
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Inspiration: A peculiar effect of divine flatulence emitted by the Holy Spirit which hisses into the ears of a few chosen of God.
Voltaire