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Tag Name "Funny" (9118)

Page 3 of 380
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A book is a mirror: if an ape looks into it an apostle is hardly likely to look out.
Georg C. Lichtenberg
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I bought a house, it's a two bedroom house, but I think it's up to me to decide how many bedrooms there are. This bedroom has an oven in it. This bedroom has a lot of people sitting around watching TV. This bedroom is over in that other guy's house.
Mitch Hedberg
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To have your niece die in your arms is the greatest gift from god.
Celine Dion
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We don't want wars even when we win.
Golda Meir
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My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section.
Norm Crosby
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Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Steven Wright
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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
George Burns
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All my friends are funny, witty, fun-loving people. As are my parents, and the people I work with. I get at least a couple of good laughs in every day.
Toks Olagundoye
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Jeff Foxworthy
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There is no need to worry about mere size. We do not necessarily respect a fat man more than a thin man. Sir Isaac Newton was very much smaller than a hippopotamus, but we do not on that account value him less.
Bertrand Russell
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I'm doing quite a lot of painting on stones - little funny fish and animals.
PJ Harvey
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Grief is a funny thing because you don't have to carry it with you for the rest of your life. After a bit you set it down by the roadside and walk on and leave it.
Rosamunde Pilcher
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Experience is the worst teacher it gives the test before presenting the lesson.
Vern Law
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You bet being funny helps accomplish things. I've always maintained that people don't realize how many brain cells it takes to be funny. And politics ought to be fun -- after baseball it's our next favorite national pastime.
Ann Richards
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Two things, generally, for me, is what life is about. And they're not funny. Living in the moment, is one. And No. 2 is getting out of yourself and helping other people. Because all of my suffering stems from thinking from myself.
Bobby Lee
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If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else.
Ann Landers
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I was just getting acquainted with the wood. I wanted to see if it was maple or pine.
Kurt Rambis
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I get a lot of letters - a lot of letters saying, who knew that you were funny?
Salman Rushdie
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I also wanted to ask you if we can talk to the Erudite you're keeping safe here, I say. I know they're hidden, but I need access to them. And what do you intend to do? she says. Shoot them, I say, rolling my eyes. That isn't funny.
Veronica Roth
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Dear Hotel People: We don't need a cheeseball clock-radio. WE NEED PLACES TO PLUG STUFF IN. Thank you.
Dave Barry
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When he talked his eyes went away from mine and then he forced himself to look straight at me and he began to explain and I knew that he felt very strange with me and that he hated me, and it was funny sitting there and talking like that, knowing he hated me.
Jean Rhys
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Thats not a place where I'm considered good-looking.
Mark Hoppus
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Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset.
Victor Borge
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It was funny to hear her voice aloud. Her thoughts and perceptions usually existed so deep inside her, they rarely made it to the surface without a deliberate effort.
Ann Brashares
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