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Tag Name "Joke" (976)

Page 6 of 41
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Even evangelicals realize that Pinocchio's father was a carpenter too. That's the old joke.
Robin Williams
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I always joke about letting the haters motivate you. Everybody has that in their life, people who doubt them or make them feel less than they are. It just takes faith and belief in yourself, and you've got to dig deep into that. That has to come from you - nobody's going to give you that.
Jennifer Lopez
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I thought I could make a sarcastic joke about it. But it's based on my own struggle with how much to give, how much it's really helping or not, and how foolish or not I feel. Giving sometimes backfires.
Nicole Holofcener
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I have always noticed that deeply and truly religious persons are fond of a joke, and I am suspicious of those who aren't.
Alfred North Whitehead
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I heard a guy tell me he liked cherries. I waited to hear if he was going to say tomatoes, then I realized he like cherries just. That joke is ridiculous.
Mitch Hedberg
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What I would do in order to be popular was, I'd put myself on line and joke around and be funny, and I was always known as the crazy kid.
Leonardo DiCaprio
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I know it's the comedian's instinct to say, Do it, man, nothing's off-limits! It's cool, bro! I don't know if that's the answer for me. Do I really want to make a joke about a miscarriage when a woman in the audience might have had one? I don't worship comedy at the end of the day I don't fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.
Bo Burnham
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Hell, do I remember the first joke? I was never a jokester.
Don Rickles
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A point, like a joke, is a terrible thing to miss.
Christopher Hitchens
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You like the girl, Alasdair offered. Nassar leveled a heavy gaze at him. Lillian said you tried to be funny in the car. I told her it couldn't possibly be true. The moment you try to make a joke, the sky shall split and the Four Horsemen will ride out, heralding Apocalypse.
Ilona Andrews
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White men have screwed this country up! I would like a black, female…. everything all rolled into one.I want something different. I want a real change. People, I want a president who speaks well, who has a sense of humor. This guy is such a moron! It's beyond the point where it's a joke. He's an idiot.
Denis Leary
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Women always think that I'm Chandler, so if I don't joke around for half an hour they think that something's wrong. Then I explain that I don't have comedy writers scripting everything I'm saying at this particular dinner.
Matthew Perry
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If you can make it sound exciting with a joke drum machine, you know you've got something.
Jeff Beck
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I could never make a joke about somebody unless I could say it to their face and they'd laugh.
Margaret Cho
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There are no ordinary people.. it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit.
C. S. Lewis
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A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.
George Orwell
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A poet in history is divine, but a poet in the next room is a joke
Max Eastman
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Let's hit the joke once and move on to the next joke and just keep it where we have as many jokes per square inch as possible.
Eric Andre
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It's not a joke: I really do like being at home.
Karl Pilkington
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Great use they have, when in the hands Of one like me, who understands, Who understands the time and place, The person, manner, and the grace, Which fools neglect so that we find, If all the requisites are join'd, From whence a perfect joke must spring, A joke's a very serious thing.
Charles Churchill
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The most profound indication of social malignancy ... no sense of humor. None of the monoliths could take a joke.
Edward Albee
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If you're going to do a Chris Christie joke, just say, 'Christie spent $82,000 at a concession stand at MetLife Stadium. Then he turned to his friends and said, 'You guys want anything?'' That's a joke. I can't believe it. I caved in. I feel awful.
Jimmy Fallon
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Slavery is nothing to joke about! And the history of this nation's [the USA's] involvement with slavery is nothing to pass off in a joke.
Douglas Wilder
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
Joan Rivers
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