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Tag Name "Diaper" (23)

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When you have kids, there's no such thing as quality time. There's just time. There's no, 'Ooh, his graduation's better than going to the mall.' It's all kind of equal. Changing her diaper and her winning a contest - it's all good.
Chris Rock
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The Mum has the temper of a demon with a diaper rash. (Shamus)
Devon Monk
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Washington is a dirty diaper. It's time for a change.
James Carville
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For me, makeup is about being your best self. If I wake up in a foul mood and have to deal with temper tantrums and an exploding diaper--I know taking 10 minutes to get my game face on will reset my stress levels. It's a chance to check in and remind myself--you got this.
Jessica Alba
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Everything TSA does is reactionary - first they ban the box cutters, then of course you have to take your shoes off, then you have to take the liquids out, now we have to be patted down in our private areas because of the diaper bomber.
John Mica
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I recommend that everyone have a Diaper Genie. Who can live without it?
Kim Kardashian
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I was raised as a red diaper baby.
Murray Bookchin
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I was pissin' Vince McMahon off when the red on the back of your neck was diaper rash!
Roddy Piper
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The first time I learned I could sell myself was when I convinced a wealthy American family to give me a job as a nanny. Childcare. Totally unqualified. But I learned to be ready for anything. And that I can adapt. That I can become the best diaper changer.
Scott Raab
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I was the oldest of the children in my family. I had to do a lot of diaper-changing and lunch-making. I was taking my little sister to ballet, picking up my brother, sort of being a super-nanny.
Vin Diesel
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it was my first doll that water went into and water came out of much earlier it was the diaper I wore and the dirt thereof and my mother hating me for it
Anne Sexton
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I autograph a lot of body parts of intoxicated people. And lots of shoes. And I signed a diaper once!
Carrie Underwood
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Every time I think about changing a diaper, I run a little bit harder and a little bit faster to make sure I can afford a nanny until my daughter's old enough to take care of that herself.
Charles Barkley
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Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
Dana Gould
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Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us back to the day when breathing and raising a baby at the same time were incompatible.
Erma Bombeck
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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.
Jimmy Piersall
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If you say children wouldn't know anything about masturbation on their own, you've never changed a little boy's diaper.
Joycelyn Elders
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And you're headed to a place with no bath and no shower. So you can just imagine how crazy it is to get up there, take your diaper off, have a urine-soaked crotch, and all you can do is wet a washcloth and wipe your skin off. You also have to do it on landing and spacewalks, too. It's not a ride that makes you springtime fresh.
Mike Mullane
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I learned how to change a cloth diaper on a raccoon, i was maybe 8 or 9.
Nikki Reed
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A diaper is as inspiring as a drink.
Rufus Wainwright
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When I start getting old, I'm going to start ending my prayers like, Lord, it'd be a good day to die. I don't wanna be 130 years old with a diaper on, all my friends dead and gone. I wanna get to heaven, come get me!
Suge Knight
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How to fold a diaper depends on the size of the baby and the diaper.
Benjamin Spock