X

Sort by

Quote length

Sentiment

Change font

Change background

Tag Name "Roommate" (54)

Page 2 of 3
Filter & Style
Image
Anyone who has ever tried to share pizza iwth roommates knows that Communism cannot ever work. If Lenin and Marx had just shard an apartment, perhaps a hundred million lives might have been spared and put to productive use making sneakers and office furniture.
Daniel Suarez
Image
While I was gone, somebody rearranged on the furniture in my bedroom. They put it in exactly the same place it was. When I told my roommate, he said: Do I know you?
Steven Wright
Image
My wife and I met when each of us was dragged to a party we didn't want to go to by friends. I was coming off a bad injury, but my roommate insisted I get out of the house and be around people. God love our friends we've been together 20 years now!
Michael Chiklis
Image
I even lived on campus to get the college experience. I had five roommates and I still keep in touch with them while I'm on the road.
Tatyana Ali
Image
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
Steven Wright
Image
[Juan Wauters] got the tips for Queens because he grew up there.So him and my roommate, Matt Volz, they hooked me up, New York Style.
Mac DeMarco
Image
We're very aggressive speakers. I remember when I was with one of my roommates in New York - and she's Portuguese, too - and we were in an Apple store talking about a computer in Portuguese. Some guy comes up to us and goes, Hey, hey! Peace, peace! Stop arguing. It's not arguing. This is really just how we talk.
Daniela Ruah
Image
I'm not the easiest person to live with. I'm kind of a slob. So for me to consider a roommate, it would have to be one of my sisters or something.
Katie Holmes
Image
I'm a typical college girl I love to shop and gossip with my roommates about boys and whatnot.
Alicia Sacramone
Image
I look at my roommates who are so proud of me that it makes me proud.
Adriana Trigiani
Image
Before Simon could answer, he heard the sound of the front door opening. He looked daggers at Jace. That's my roommate. Kyle. Be nice. Jace smiled charmingly. I'm always nice.
Cassandra Clare
Image
Some fast food places, they have that ketchup pump. It's like a keg. They give you the paper shot glass. I always like to hang around there, try and meet the ladies. Here, I'll pump for you. You come to this Wendy's often? My roommate and I, we got a pony pump back at my dorm. Here's an extra shot
Jim Gaffigan
Image
POSSIBLE OPENERS AFTER YOU'VE GOTTEN DRUNK AND SLEPT IN YOUR GUY ROOMMATE'S BED (A LIST):1. Hey, Drew, thanks for letting me sleep in your bed. I hope I didn't puke all over your sheets.2. What do you mean? I slept in your bed? Really? I don't remember any of it, I was so wasted.3. Thanks for not trying to molest me.
Lauren Barnholdt
Image
The other day I walked in on my roommate while I was masturbating.
Nick Thune
Image
I actually knew Sully's sister, and I was in a band called Stripmind, and then I became roommates with Sully and being out of a band, he asked if I wanted to join in his. Tony was originally the second guitarist in the band a guy by the name of Lee Richards was the first. The rest is pretty much history.
Robbie Merrill
Image
When I was 16, I was in Boston and some friends said, 'You want to go to New York?,' I went with my roommate... These guys said, 'We're going to this club. Just don't go in the washroom.' It was CBGB. I had no idea what it was or the history of all the music. All I knew was this was my first 21-and-over club and I managed to get in!
Stana Katic
Image
You marry your friends when you stay with your friends. It's hard enough to find a good roommate, let alone a good person you can live with and fall in love with at the same time. You might as well just take your roommate, if you can find one, and marry them. I mean, if you can find somebody that doesn't drive you crazy, I would say marry that.
Ariel Pink
Image
Your trash can is full of energy bar wrappers. You were looking through my trash?
Rainbow Rowell
Image
I had this roommate in college who would get up almost 2 hours before class to do hair and makeup. That's not for me.
Kim Raver
Image
Interesting he said. You know, Simon never mentioned that his roommate was a werewolf.
Cassandra Clare
Image
Having a baby is like suddenly getting the world's worst roommate.
Anne Lamott
Image
I've got four roommates and they all have fur and tails.
Kate Walsh
Image
My roommate and my boyfriend, they both know I am compulsive and controlling.
Christina Ricci
Image
The Colonel explained to me that 1. this was Alaska's room, and that 2. she had a single room because the girl who was supposed to be her roommate got kicked out at the end of last year, and that 3. Alaska had cigarettes, although the Colonel neglected to ask whether 4. I smoked, which 5. I didn't.
John Green
Previous
Next