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Tag Name "Jokes" (1645)

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I could become like that dyslexic agnostic in the old joke - the one who lies in bed and tries to figure out if his dog exists.
Anne Lamott
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Surprise makes a joke funny. I love it when someone tells me something I couldn't possibly have expected you've been led along one path and - bang! - the joke comes out of nowhere.
Josie Long
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In actual fact, the female function is to explore, discover, invent, solve problems crack jokes, make music - all with love. In other words, create a magic world.
Valerie Solanas
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I'm terrible at practical jokes. I do them too well, so they're not funny. I end up saying, Oh, no, I'm joking, I'm joking.
Anna Torv
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Cooking allows you to have travels, adventures and journeys without going anywhere. The running joke between my partner and me is that I'm not really concerned about how long it takes, or how much I destroy the kitchen, because I just have such a good time doing it.
Ted Allen
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George Lowe was the one who opened the mail, and George started laughing uproariously and I looked up at him in astonishment and said, What's so funny? And he said, You've been given a title, and I said, Ha, ha, big joke. I didn't believe him but, sure enough, in this letter it indicated that the Queen had given me a title.
Edmund Hillary
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Being anti-war in Hollywood was an act of bravery on the order of the keynote speaker at a PLO dinner making jokes about Ariel Sharon.
Ann Coulter
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I am the illegal alien of commentary. I will do the jokes that no one else will do.
Ann Coulter
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You are so lame. You always disappoint me. It's kind of like our running joke but it's really not funny and I just want you to live up to the image of you I create.
Ani DiFranco
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I can honestly say that in my time in America, I have not encountered any racism. When Jim Thorpe and I make fun of each other on the range, or even when a white player makes a joke about my color, I take it as what it is-a joke-and give it back accordingly.
Vijay Singh
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When you're young and you first see the extent and depth of the world's hypocrisy, it's fun to go after it. But by the time you're sixty, it's so commonplace. What's the point in ridiculing people anymore? Their existence itself is a sort of sick joke.
Harold Ramis
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In the Senate race I went for some candidate endorsement meetings and three people there asked me: Do you go to a therapist? Because they could not believe that with the beating I took in the mayor's race I could still come in there cracking jokes and talking about the issues!
Angela Alioto
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In almost every interview someone asks what does HIM stand for. I can't even remember our latest lie about that. When Hanson was hot, we said it means Hanson Is Murder. The name doesn't have a particular history. His Infernal Majesty was a totally different band. I think HIM derives from some death metal joke.
Ville Valo
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The older you get, the funnier fart jokes are.
Andy Samberg
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I'm not allowed to make a joke. It is a bit unfair how I'm treated. I thought it was a joke. I got calls and messages. I would rather not to have to worry about things like that. It is disappointing.
Andy Murray
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I think that the theory of evolution is the most unscientific, faith-based, fundamentally brainless idea that ever had the misfortune to come out of a human mind. To compare it to true science is a joke. There is nothing even slightly scientific about it.
Ray Comfort
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When I was very young and first worked in Hollywood, the films had bred in me one sole ambition: to get away from them to live inthe great world outside movies to meet people who created their own situations through living them who ad-libbed their own dialogue whose jokes were not the contrivance of some gag writer.
Anita Loos
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Housekeeping ain't no joke.
Louisa May Alcott
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I might do cartoonish sexual jokes, but it's my way of saying what's going on in the world. How people are animals, really.
Andrew Dice Clay
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Comedy is a very personal thing, as you would know if you've ever told the same joke to two people and had one of them laugh their head off and the other one look at you as though you were a completely cretin.
Andrew Denton
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Every joke is an experiment. When you sit, alone, and write a script, or just a joke, you really have no idea if it will succeed.
Judd Apatow
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The whole experience of doing a sitcom is... Telling jokes with such precision is really exciting, but it's also terrifying.
Lea Thompson
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Then when we did the untitled record, we just didn't feel like putting joke stuff on it, so we didn't. It wasn't really a deliberation or a real introspective thing like, Are we going to joke on this one, are we not going to joke on this one? We just didn't feel like it on the untitled one, so we didn't.
Mark Hoppus
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She loved three things — a joke, a glass of wine, and a handsome man.
W. Somerset Maugham
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