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Tag Name "Condom" (76)

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Condoms will break, but I can assure you that vows of abstinence will break more easily than condoms.
Joycelyn Elders
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You're going to find this hard to believe, but cops aren't required to carry emergency condoms. Joe Morelli
Janet Evanovich
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A condom is a rubber thing shaped like a wiener that hums.
Bill Engvall
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I just remember a creepy sex-ed teacher putting a banana on a condom and then saying, It goes in the girl if she gets all juicy. We didn't even believe it. We were like, Well, that's weird.
Jen Kirkman
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Meat is dirty. I wouldn't touch a hot dog without a condom on it
Bill Maher
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I bought a packet of Trojan® Ultra Pleasure Extra Sensitive condoms: ‘No. 1 in AMERICA’. They smell nothing like a positive first sexual experience.
Joe Dunthorne
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but I don't want to wear a condom because I don't feel anything, and she says calmly... glaring at me,If you don't use one you're not going to feel anything anyway.
Bret Easton Ellis
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I want young women when they're 14 to start thinking about what they want over the course of their lives. I think it's criminal - child abuse - that they're not told to do this [in school]. Right now it's just sex education and putting condoms on bananas. Girls should be asked to think about what they want in their lives when they're 50, 60 and 70.
Camille Paglia
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They’ll have to eat first. And by the time they’re finished, you’ll be back.” “With the condoms.” “Right.” “For the giant orgy you’re convinced we’re about to have in the backyard.” “Dory! Just go!” “I’ll go with,” Ray said, getting up. “I need a snack.” Which was how I ended up condom shopping with a vampire.
Karen Chance
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About President Bush's stand against condoms, condoms will not protect you from AIDS . So to just throw a bunch of condoms over to Africa and say, here, we're helping you with AIDS, is just going to further the spread of AIDS over there.
Christine O'Donnell
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Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it's ribbed for your pleasure.
Katt Williams
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Arnold Schwarzenegger looks like a brown condom full of walnuts.
Clive James
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Five trolls in a dra-a-a-a-ag,' the four-inch man sang from my shoulder. 'Four purple condoms, three French ticklers, two horny vamps and a succubus in the snow.
Kim Harrison
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Put a condom in their hand and hope it don't bust.
Coolio
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There's a nice clear difference between real protection (wash your hands, or wear a condom) and the fake protection offered by institutions which often come, finally and sadly, to be much too interested first of all in protecting their own power.
Laura Mullen
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Nothing ruins the mood during foreplay more than the recurring image of your sixty-five-year-old homeroom teacher trying to stretch a condom over a cucumber.
Dennis Miller
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[Television executives] are afraid to advertise condoms that could save lives, but do not blush about telecasting a National Geographic special on President Reagan's pelvic plumbing.
Martin Nolan
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What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
Dov Davidoff
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We're the ones causing global warming. In fact, what we ought to be saying is population growth is a major cause of it, so I hope to have a T-shirt out very, very soon: Stop global warming, use condoms.
Mechai Viravaidya
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But certainly in Uganda, Mozambique and South Africa, people don't really talk about sex and certainly religious leaders - some of them - up to now have been very unwilling to accept, for instance, the promotion of condom use
Emma Thompson
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When someone is HIV-positive and his partner says, I want to have sexual relations with you, he doesn't have to do that. But when he does, he has to use a condom.
Godfried Danneels
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The media is Obama's scandal condom.
Greg Gutfeld
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I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18 The first time was a nightmare. Who shows you how to use a condom?
Adam Ant
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You know, we are one nation under a god. Yes, you were right. An angry, crack slinging god who decorates with bullets and spent condoms.
Henry Rollins
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