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Satirist Inspirational Quotes (2486)

Page 5 of 104
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If something is good enough, it can be out there and people will see it.
Al Yankovic
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Maybe I'll make a huge color tapestry from my belly button lint.
Al Yankovic
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He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.
Al Yankovic
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Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight. Oh, I'm praying that somebody tries to break in here tonight.
Al Yankovic
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When I swore that you're getting more and more beautiful everyday. Well, I was only kidding, honey.
Al Yankovic
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Ever since the day you left me, I've been so miserable, my dear. I feel almost as bad as I did when you were still here.
Al Yankovic
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No Joni Mitchell 8 track tapes in my car.
Al Yankovic
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Take down those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine.
Al Yankovic
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I dated Siamese twins, I slept with Big Foot, too. Get me on Sally Jesse, put me on Donahue.
Al Yankovic
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I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem that time that you made it with the whole hockey team.
Al Yankovic
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It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.
Al Yankovic
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Kind of wish I was dead. Maybe, I'll blow my brains out, mama, or maybe I'll go bowling.
Al Yankovic
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I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend one more minute with you.
Al Yankovic
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Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue.
Al Yankovic
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My wife went off with Elvis.
Al Yankovic
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Every night for dinner we had a big chunk of dirt.
Al Yankovic
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You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.
Al Yankovic
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You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill, now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will.
Al Yankovic
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People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?'
Al Yankovic
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There's enough people that do unfunny music. I'll leave the serious stuff to Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline.
Al Yankovic
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There are a lot of songs that would ostensibly be a good candidate for parody, yet I can't think of a clever enough idea.
Al Yankovic
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I did have a child, and I was reading a lot of picture books to her, but at the same time writing a children's book was something that I'd been wanting to do for many years, pretty much since the start of my career.
Al Yankovic
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That's something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.
Al Yankovic
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I'm an ugly girl, My face makes you hurl, Sad I have it, I should bag it. Acne everywhere, Unwanted facial hair. I'm a relation to Frankenstein's creation.
Al Yankovic
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