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Satirist Inspirational Quotes (2486)

Page 24 of 104
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The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.
H. L. Mencken
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You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things.
Jon Stewart
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My buddy Tim Bass he's a-workin' pumpin gas, and he makes two fifty for an hour. He's got rhythm in his hands as he's tappin' on the cans, sings rock and roll in the shower.
Jon Stewart
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The fact that I have no remedy for all the sorrows of the world is no reason for my accepting yours. It simply supports the strong probability that yours is a fake.
H. L. Mencken
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Man, without a saving touch of woman in him, is too doltish, too naive and romantic, too easily deluded and lulled to sleep by his imagination to be anything above a cavalryman, a theologian or a corporation director.
H. L. Mencken
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I am writing a play which I probably will not finish until the end of November. I am writing it with considerable pleasure, though I sin frightfully against the conventions of the stage. It is a comedy with three female parts, six male, four acts, a landscape (view of the lake), lots of talk on literature, little action and tons of love.
Anton Chekhov
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The more powerful the obstacle, the more glory we have in overcoming it and the difficulties with which we are met are the maids of honor which set off virtue.
Moliere
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Can you really put a price on annoying two religions at once?
Stephen Colbert
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My love is like a stone tied round my neck it's dragging me down to the bottom but I love my stone. I can't live without it.
Anton Chekhov
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All the great sages are as despotic as generals, and as ignorant and as indelicate as generals, because they feel secure of impunity.
Anton Chekhov
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Protect yourself from Muslim vampires by making your neck non-halal.
Stephen Colbert
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Like O'Rielly, we'll grab the most important word of each sentence... 'The' for example. Also, I'll say, 'I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, 'Colbert angry.
Stephen Colbert
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Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *and* fresher breath.
Dave Barry
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Looking for an honest politician is like looking for an ethical burglar.
H. L. Mencken
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Each of us is full of too many wheels, screws and valves to permit us to judge one another on a first impression or by two or three external signs.
Anton Chekhov
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And yonder all before us lie Deserts of vast eternity.
Andrew Marvell
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You have to be careful on the deck, because of the hatches, which are holes placed around a sailboat at random to increase the insurance rates.
Dave Barry
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The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.
Moliere
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I know of no existing nation that deserves to live, and I know of very few individuals.
H. L. Mencken
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Don't tell me what I'm doing I don't want to know.
Federico Fellini
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I have never had a point in my life to make. I'm just trying to entertain the reader.
Dave Barry
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If, when you talk to people, they keep backing away from you, it's because you're TOO CLOSE, alright? SO DON'T KEEP ADVANCING ON THEM LIKE A HUMAN GLACIER.
Dave Barry
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Nothing lulls and inebriates like money when you have a lot, the world seems a better place than it actually is.
Anton Chekhov
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Her smile was a bite, and I was its target.
Yevgeny Zamyatin
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