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Satirist Inspirational Quotes (2486)

Page 23 of 104
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Good Heavens! For more than forty years I have been speaking prose without knowing it.
Moliere
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One of the things that makes a Negro unpleasant to white folk is the fact that he suffers from their injustice. He is thus a standing rebuke to them.
H. L. Mencken
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The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose - for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the science of metaphysics.
H. L. Mencken
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61% of graduating teens have had sex, 37% will eventually have sex, and 2% become statisticians.
Jon Stewart
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The vice-president's tongue is several time zones ahead of his brain.
Christopher Buckley
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I've noticed your hostility towards him... I ought to have guessed you were friends.
Malcolm Bradbury
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Poverty persuades a man to do and suffer everything that he may escape from it.
Lucian
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I feed on good soup, not beautiful language.
Moliere
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God must love the rich or he wouldn't divide so much among so few of them.
H. L. Mencken
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To create a public scandal is what's wicked to sin in private is not a sin.
Moliere
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The myth about the angel who rebelled against his Lord is the most beautiful of all myths, the proudest, the most revolutionary, the most immortal of them all.
Yevgeny Zamyatin
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If many remedies are prescribed for an illness you can be sure it has no cure
Anton Chekhov
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It is not a sign of communal well-being when men turn to their government to execute all their business for them, but rather a sign of decay, as in the United States today. The state, indeed, is but one of the devices that a really healthy community sets up to manage its affairs.
H. L. Mencken
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Yet another spunky li'l NASA robot lands and begins transmitting back photographs of rocks that appear virtually identical to the rock photos beamed back by all the other spunky li'l NASA robots, thus confirming suspicions that the universe has a LOT of rocks in it.
Dave Barry
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(on fox news).... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.
Stephen Colbert
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Yes, man is mortal, but that would be only half the trouble. The worst of it is that he's sometimes unexpectedly mortal—there's the trick!
Mikhail Bulgakov
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President Bush delivered his first State of the Union address, riding high on an 82-percent approval rating, and with Attorney General John Ashcroft dispatching agents to interview the other 18 percent.
Jon Stewart
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Actually, there are people from all ove - not just Latin America, certainly not just Cuba, but all over Europe, all over the United States. I like that. I like knowing a lot of different types of people. And I can afford to live in a relatively safe part of Miami.
Dave Barry
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It is fine for a woman to know a lot but I don't want her to have this shocking desire to be learned for learnedness sake. When I ask a woman a question, I like her to pretend to ignore what she really knows.
Moliere
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The great thing about being ignored is that you can speak the truth with impunity.
Steve Aylett
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The only way that a government can provide for jobs for all citizens is by deciding what every man should do.
H. L. Mencken
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Life is given only once, and one wants to live it boldly, with full conscious and beauty.
Anton Chekhov
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Man does not create gods, in spite of appearances. The times, the age, impose them on him.
Stanislaw Lem
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For history, I say again, has this and this only for its own: if a man will start upon it, he must sacrifice to no God but Truth he must neglect all else his sole rule and unerring guide is this - to think not of those who are listening to him now, but of the yet unborn who shall seek his converse.
Lucian
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