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Comedian Inspirational Quotes (29299)

Page 27 of 1221
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I don't mind pointing out some of the failings of old age, because we are all headed in that direction, unless of course we take our own lives before we become a burden. I'm not advocating suicide, oh wait, I guess I am.
Amy Sedaris
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On the off chance that you have children, don't clean up at all. As children, my brother and sister and I loved waking up early and playing cocktail party with the leftover debris
Amy Sedaris
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When people tell me they are going to go scrapbooking, I say, 'Why don't you make it yourself.' It's like chocolate-chip cookies. People buy the cookie-dough roll and slice it, and then they lay it on a cookie sheet. That's not making chocolate-chip cookies.
Amy Sedaris
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Sometimes, to keep things exciting, I decorate my house as if I owned a child. I'll toss a tiny pair of shoes in the hallway or lean small wooden crutches in what I refer to as 'the baby's room,' which is actually a tiny space where I make things. I continue to call it the baby's room because it confuses people and it's creepy.
Amy Sedaris
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You think in a different way when you don't have any money. The joy of poverty is that you use your imagination to come up with stuff.
Amy Sedaris
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Well I went to New Orleans to cover the jazz festival for Trio, it's this new arts channel, it's really great.
Amy Sedaris
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There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.
Amy Sedaris
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People always think I'm Amy Poehler, which never bothers me. I mean, Amy Poehler is great.
Amy Sedaris
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My favorite things often have a story behind them and are usually handmade or discovered at a flea market.
Amy Sedaris
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I'm drawn to people who look different. I'm not exploiting. I'm not making fun of them. I'm drawn to them.
Amy Sedaris
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I love costumes. My dream growing up was always to have my own costume and prop shop.
Amy Sedaris
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I have always wanted a bunny and I'll always have a rabbit the rest of my life.
Amy Sedaris
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I am an aging Girl Scout.
Amy Sedaris
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I always knew I didn't want kids, and I didn't want to get married.
Amy Sedaris
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I always got along with all types of people - popular people as well as drug addicts.
Amy Sedaris
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I always find something to keep me busy.
Amy Sedaris
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I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid.
Amy Sedaris
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But I always like to play ugly people who think they're pretty.
Amy Sedaris
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Books are challenging and inspirational to me.
Amy Sedaris
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I just want to get the most money I can.
Amy Schumer
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I don't try to be feminist. I just am. It's innately inside me. I have no interest in trying to be the perfect feminist, but I do believe feminists are in good hands with me.
Amy Schumer
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Song Sixteen Going on Seventeen is actually about syphilis.
Amy Schumer
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I call myself a comic.But I started as an actress. I did plays since I was 5.
Amy Schumer
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I don't feel any sense of competition at all, and that might be my naïveté, but I don't feel pitted against anyone at all.
Amy Schumer
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