X

Sort by

Quote length

Sentiment

Change font

Change background

Comedian Inspirational Quotes (29299)

Page 25 of 1221
Filter & Style
Image
This is Lakshmi Singh. It's like a tadpole dying in muck. Take a drink. Wet your mouth.
Doug Stanhope
Image
One thing I hope I'll never be is drunk with my own power. And anybody who says I am will never work in this town again.
Jim Carrey
Image
I think my siblings sometimes have to defend me within their social circles - they are both barristers.
Jenny Eclair
Image
I hate flossing, I wish I just had one long curvy tooth. They didn't have to make separations for me.
Mitch Hedberg
Image
This is AIDS. AIDS is as real as an egg.
Sarah Silverman
Image
I think it is really sad that when people lose their homes they kind of lose their minds too.
Margaret Cho
Image
My characters are all kind of geek archetypes of people I've encountered at gaming and comic book conventions.
Ernest Cline
Image
Some people are mean, and when you look at their page, they only write mean things, but I have a great time with a twitter person. It's not even to promote myself, just to entertain me.
Kathleen Madigan
Image
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
W. C. Fields
Image
My friend Phil Morrison directed a lot of my favorite videos back in the mid- to late-90s - all the Yo La Tengo videos that were funny, a Juliana Hatfield video. He was such an influence with me, and I wanted to do a video the way Phil used to do videos. I did that for Phil.
Tom Scharpling
Image
We would need less gun control if we had better birth control.
Richard Jeni
Image
Do you remember a little phenom called step aerobics? If you do, then you know how crazy it was to take two ninety-minute classes in a row. It’s incredible that I didn’t die from a blunt injury to the back of my head from slipping on my own pool of sweat.
Kathy Griffin
Image
Onions make me sad. A lot of people don't realize that.
Mitch Hedberg
Image
I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
Hollywood doesn't even have respect for itself. Hollywood lies to itself.
Paul Mooney
Image
In the UK a lot of people don't like to try. There's a different cultural thing. Here [in USA] if you try and fail, you get up again and start again and keep going. People respect you for it. Even if you keep failing, they respect the tenacity.
Eddie Izzard
Image
I don't know my telephone number or anything like that, but when I do have to make a call, I just pull my body over to the side and squat. I don't want to be one of those people who are on their phone all the time.
Amy Sedaris
Image
I'm more of a clown, a tragic clown. Yeah. I just like humor to come out of characters.
Amy Sedaris
Image
I like dramas and stuff. That's what I watch, but it seems weird that I'd be in it.
Amy Sedaris
Image
I've been to some funerals where there's a lot of laughing - it's about celebrating their new journey. I can't think of anything. There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.
Amy Sedaris
Image
I always want to look unattractive, it's more fun. I like playing opposites, people who aren't attractive who think they are pretty. That's always interesting to me.
Amy Sedaris
Image
I try to pick music for a diner that doesnt involve a lot of lyrics, so you're not paying attention to that. As long as it doesnt dominate the party, it should be more atmosphere music. When I'm by myself, I never play music.
Amy Sedaris
Image
Don't associate me with comedy. And please don't say actress. I would never call myself any of those things. I hate it when people call me that.
Amy Sedaris
Image
That's how all theater should be done - you only have one chance to see it and then it's gone. One night only.
Amy Sedaris
Previous
Next