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Humorist Inspirational Quotes (4583)

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He worked like hell in the country so he could live in the city, where he worked like hell so he could live in the country.
Don Marquis
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Children, be worried when they call you America's most valuable natural resource. Have you seen what they've done to the other natural resources?
Utah Phillips
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As I have said so often before, the long memory is the most radical idea in America...
Utah Phillips
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But if it’s true that the only true life I had was the life of my brain, what sense does it make to hand that brain to somebody for eight hours a day for their particular use on the presumption that, at the end of the day, they will give it back in an unmutilated condition? Fat chance!
Utah Phillips
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Laurie Lewis' songs combine passion and sheer craft in a way you don't hear very often. Whatever country music is supposed to be, she's at the center of it.
Utah Phillips
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I guarantee, that if I am elected, I will take over the White House, hang out, shoot pool, scratch my ass, and not do a damn thing . . . Which is to say, if you want something done, don't come to me to do it for you you got to get together and figure out how to do it yourselves. Is that a deal?
Utah Phillips
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Chris Chandler is the best performance poet I have ever seen.
Utah Phillips
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The Earth is not dying-it is being killed. And the people who are killing it have names and addresses.
Utah Phillips
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Folk music isn't owned by anybody. It is owned by everybody, like the national parks, the postal system, and the school system. It's our common property. There is nobody's name on it. Nobody can make money on it. It's not copywritten.
Utah Phillips
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Hardware: where the people in your company's software section will tell you the problem is. Software: where the people in your company's hardware section will tell you the problem is.
Dave Barry
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We consider that any man who can fiddle all through one of those Virginia Reels without losing his grip may be depended upon in any kind of musical emergency.
Mark Twain
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Circumstance - which moves by laws of its own, regardless of parties and policies, and whose decrees are final and must be obeyed by all - and will be
Mark Twain
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The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.
Mark Twain
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Reading is the unbelievably healthy way my attention deficit disorder medicates itself. Reading is escape, and the opposite of escape it's a way to make contact with reality after a day of making things up.
Nora Ephron
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I may as well tell you, here and now, that if you are going about the place thinking things pretty, you will never make a modern poet. Be poignant, man, be poignant!
P. G. Wodehouse
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There is something about a poet which leads us to believe that he died, in many cases, as long as 20 years before his birth.
James Thurber
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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
Evan Esar
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Facebook, instagram - I prefer visual communication better than verbal. But I read all the comments, answering too.
Verka Serduchka
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Listening to albums and records is not the best way to percept Verka Serduchka. Live shows are the place where you can feel that specific atmosphere, that is not going to be the same ever.
Verka Serduchka
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As I was not a good singer - I have started to sing. And because no one could write an appropriate song for me - I started to write songs by myself.
Verka Serduchka
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Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
Mark Twain
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There's a double beauty whenever a swan Swims on a lake with her double thereon.
Thomas Hood
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Sweet are the little brooks that run O'er pebbles glancing in the sun, Singing in soothing tones.
Thomas Hood
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Generally the pythons are better than anything else at killing.
Dave Barry
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