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Wilson Mizner Inspirational Quotes (63)

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I've known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, yet never had a thought.
Wilson Mizner
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I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.
Wilson Mizner
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A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool, usually has his suspicions.
Wilson Mizner
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He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.
Wilson Mizner
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The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
Wilson Mizner
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Failure has gone to his head.
Wilson Mizner
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I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
Wilson Mizner
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Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
Wilson Mizner
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If you steal from one author it's plagiarism if you steal from many it's research.
Wilson Mizner
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If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
Wilson Mizner
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A good party is where you enjoy good people, and they taste even better with Champagne.
Wilson Mizner
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Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
Wilson Mizner
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The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
Wilson Mizner
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The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
Wilson Mizner
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To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
Wilson Mizner
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