X

Sort by

Quote length

Sentiment

Change font

Change background

Stephen Colbert Inspirational Quotes (266)

Page 6 of 12
Filter & Style
Image
Cardinal Dolan, of course, has a very, very hard job: trying to hold up Catholic family values in sexually liberal New York City. I'm not saying New York is the Gay Mecca. But it's at least Gay-rusalem.
Stephen Colbert
Image
(Rush are) like the JD Salinger of Canadian Prog Rock
Stephen Colbert
Image
If I had a dime for everytime that I was wrong, I'd be broke.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I can really find something interesting about almost anyone I talk to.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Baby carrots are making me gay.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. It’s sort of a blog for people with attention spans.
Stephen Colbert
Image
In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently have 0.0 million dollars.
Stephen Colbert
Image
But you are also the biggest threat of all ...You are a gay person I like. Your threat is that you make being gay seem non-threatening. It's almost as if your happiness does not take mine away.
Stephen Colbert
Image
New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I love being onstage, I love the relationship with the audience.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America's obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Why would we go to war on women? They don't have any oil.
Stephen Colbert
Image
A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?
Stephen Colbert
Image
I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law.
Stephen Colbert
Image
If you're a perfectionist and you know you're about to do something at which you cannot be perfect, then that is daunting because you know what your heart is like and the way you approach your work.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I hope people'll find out pretty quickly that the guy they saw for 10 years was my sense of humor the whole time.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I'm not a standup. I didn't start off as a writer, I learned to write through improvisation, and so that's the part of the show that can most surprise me. The written part of the show, I know I can get wrong. You can't really get the interview wrong.
Stephen Colbert
Image
The more you know, the sadder you get.
Stephen Colbert
Image
The shamrock is a religious symbol. St. Patrick said the leaves represented the trinity: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. That's why four leaf clovers are so lucky, you get a bonus Jesus.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Corporations have free speech, but they can't speak like you and me. They don't have mouths or hands.
Stephen Colbert
Image
If you are a hermaphrodite, it is physically impossible to be gay.
Stephen Colbert
Previous
Next