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Robert Orben Inspirational Quotes (78)
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
Robert Orben
They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
Robert Orben
For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
Robert Orben
If you can laugh together, you can work together.
Robert Orben
Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
Robert Orben
If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
Robert Orben
Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
Robert Orben
President Ford used humor a great deal.
Robert Orben
Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
Robert Orben
Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
Robert Orben
Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
Robert Orben
Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
Robert Orben
Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
Robert Orben
I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
Robert Orben
THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
Robert Orben
There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
Robert Orben
I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
Robert Orben
It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
Robert Orben
I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.
Robert Orben
We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
Robert Orben
What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?
Robert Orben
Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
Robert Orben
When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
Robert Orben
All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
Robert Orben
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