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P J O Rourke Inspirational Quotes (352)

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I'm here as a radio journalist but am not even sure which part of a tape recorder takes the pictures.
P. J. O'Rourke
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There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please.
P. J. O'Rourke
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I suspect the soviets never did want to use those bombs. The most Stalinist of Soviet hard-liners - Stalin, for example - must have realized a nuclear war would be a hard thing to clean up after.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Dating is the social engagement with the threat of sex at its conclusion.
P. J. O'Rourke
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It takes a lot of weapons to do good works (as Richard the Lionhearted could have told us). And this is not just a Somali problem. We have poverty and deprivation in our own country. Try standing unarmed on a street corner in Compton handing out twenty-dollar bills and see how long you last.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Writing this book required an enormous amount of help from friends. To them goes the credit. I'll take the money.
P. J. O'Rourke
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For toddlers I suggest leaving their mittens on year-round, indoors and out. That way they can't get into aspirin bottles, liquor cabinets, or boxes of kitchen matches.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Whenever government proposes to get involved in the regulation of trade, just be very, very careful about who's behind this proposal, what their motives are.
P. J. O'Rourke
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I realised the bohemian life was not for me. I would look around at my friends, living like starving artists, and wonder, 'Where's the art?' They weren't doing anything. And there was so much interesting stuff to do, so much fun to be had... maybe I could even quit renting.
P. J. O'Rourke
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I'm old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Taxi drivers all over the world, by the way, are under Newspaper Guild contract to give easy quotes to foreign correspondents.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Passover is my idea of a perfect holiday. Dear God, when you're handing out plagues of darkness, locusts, hail, boils, flies, lice, frogs, and cattle murrain, and turning the Nile to blood, and smiting firstborn, give me a pass, and tell me when it's over.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Never do anything to a clitoris with your teeth that you wouldn't do to an expensive waterproof wristwatch.
P. J. O'Rourke
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In the wake of Animal House, all of us at the Lampoon had a lot of Hollywood opportunities. We could definitely get people to return phone calls.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Hunter S. Thompson and I are old friends, but what we do is so different. There are surface similarities that really have to do with us being frustrated poets.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Good manners consist of doing precisely what everyone thinks should be done, especially when no one knows quite what that is.
P. J. O'Rourke
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The Three Branches of Government: Money, Television, and Bullshit
P. J. O'Rourke
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From National Lampoon, you go directly to Saturday Night Live, because it's a lot of the same people.
P. J. O'Rourke
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People who are wise, good, smart, skillful, or hardworking don't need politics, they have jobs.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Maybe a vague president and an incompetent and somewhat corrupt administration is what the nation needs.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did.
P. J. O'Rourke
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The great thing about being a print journalist is that you are permitted to duck. Cameramen get killed while the writers are flat on the floor. A war correspondent for the BBC dedicated his memoir to 50 fallen colleagues, and I guarantee you they were all taking pictures. I am only alive because I am such a chicken.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Fashionably amusing table manners are a matter of breaking the right rule at the right time.
P. J. O'Rourke
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The dominant type of humor in the '60s was essentially defensive and self-deprecating, using humor as a shield.
P. J. O'Rourke
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