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P J O Rourke Inspirational Quotes (352)

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A charity ball is like a dance except it's tax deductible.
P. J. O'Rourke
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A lot of things work better in a locomotive.
P. J. O'Rourke
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If the dollar weakens, then presumably all the things that we make in the United States - Buicks, for instance - can be sold cheap all over the world, and everyone will be buying our goods, and we'll get all sorts of yen-denominated, or yuan-denominated, or euro-denominated securities, and then everybody else will be worried.
P. J. O'Rourke
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There's something about Marxism that brings out warts the only kind of growth this economic system encourages.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren't present.
P. J. O'Rourke
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I'm a rather decisive type.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults as rotten SOB's given to fistfights, gunplay, and other mayhem. Kids who believe this about grownups aren't likely to argue about bedtime.
P. J. O'Rourke
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The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look.
P. J. O'Rourke
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No government proposal more complicated than This note is legal tender for all debts, public and private ever works.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Feminism is the result of a few ignorant and literal-minded women letting the cat out of the bag about which is the superior sex. Once women made it public that they could do things better than men, they were, of course, forced to do them.
P. J. O'Rourke
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It's the squares who know how to fly the fighter planes and operate the missiles and the bombs and work the M-16s. Liberals would still be fumbling with the federally mandated trigger locks.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Fishing... is a sport invented by insects and you are the bait.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Gay marriage acceptance is happening in the blink of an eye.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Those who do not know history are probably also not doing well in English or math. P.J. O'Rourke
P. J. O'Rourke
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France in August when you can travel through the entire country without encountering a single pesky Frenchman or being bothered with anything that's open for business.
P. J. O'Rourke
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In 1970 or '71, early in the magazine, Michael O'Donoghue did maybe eight pages of a 1958 yearbook, from Ezra Taft Benson High School. But by the time the [book-length] high-school yearbook came around, he didn't want to be involved.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either.
P. J. O'Rourke
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[ I'm] humorist, I guess. Or really more of a reporter. A reporter who reports on funny things.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Zero-sum thinking is an obsession of mine, but mostly in economics.
P. J. O'Rourke
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The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Whereas Rolling Stone, I just never had anything to do with them. I'd stop by the office maybe twice a year.
P. J. O'Rourke
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[Michael] Moore doesn't really use his sense of humor that much.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Now for good or ill, California is the place where trends tend to be set in Western civilization - if civilization indeed it is. California, for several generations now, has been the newest, biggest, most experimental place in the newest, biggest, most experimental part of liberal Western capitalism - which is itself a new experiment for mankind.
P. J. O'Rourke
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