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Mike Birbiglia Inspirational Quotes (80)

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The key is to do what you love.
Mike Birbiglia
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A girl offered me E at the club. 'Have you ever done E?' 'I watch E.'
Mike Birbiglia
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I couldn't recommend more that people put themselves in a situation where they can see a lot of work that they admire, and for free.
Mike Birbiglia
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Backup dancers are completely respectable. They're the studio musicians of dance.
Mike Birbiglia
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Art is socialism but life is capitalism.
Mike Birbiglia
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The list of fun and easily fixed brain diseases is very short.
Mike Birbiglia
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Alienation, I suppose, can't be hackneyed because it will always exist.
Mike Birbiglia
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It had that kind of open-ended fear to it - like that feeling you get when you're driving and you see a cop. And you're not speeding. You don't have drugs. But you're just thinking, I hope he doesn't notice I'm driving.
Mike Birbiglia
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I always try to attack the most honest issues I can in my comedy.
Mike Birbiglia
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I struggled with that notion early in my career. 'I know this is funny but nobody is laughing.' This thought occurred for years.
Mike Birbiglia
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I feel that marriage can lead to the ultimate rejection and failure and divorce and things we all fear.
Mike Birbiglia
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How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people, is the answer.
Mike Birbiglia
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So I went to a club the other day, which is timely because my self esteem had been hovering right around 'normal' and I had been meaning to knock it down to negative 1000.
Mike Birbiglia
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Does anyone know a word that rhymes with shark?
Mike Birbiglia
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I figured out in my thirties it was about 'what can I contribute'? And what I figured out about that is creating something from scratch, and connecting it to people.
Mike Birbiglia
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I almost can't even put to words how happy I am that I got married.
Mike Birbiglia
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My family isn't really Italian. We're more like Olive Garden Italian.
Mike Birbiglia
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I performed for the U.S. troops in Guantanamo Bay. And signed autographs for people who've been gone from America for so long they didn't realize that I'm not famous.
Mike Birbiglia
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I love pizza so much, I would marry pizza, but it would just be an elaborate ploy to eat her whole family at the reception.
Mike Birbiglia
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I'm walking out my door to get like a Snapple, and someone's like 'yo man, you want to buy some heroin?' 'No... got any Snapple?'
Mike Birbiglia
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Someone stole my wallet last week. The guy called me up and he was mad at me. He was like 'you gotta get your finances together. You got no cash, your credit cards are maxed out. You don't even have minutes on your calling card. I had to use my card to call you.'
Mike Birbiglia
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What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.
Mike Birbiglia
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I'm a compulsive everything.
Mike Birbiglia
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Sometimes, when you want to be in a place so badly, you'll do anything.
Mike Birbiglia
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