Les Dawson Inspirational Quotes (28)

I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it.

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.

A square egg in a dish of lentils won't make a marrow bend with the wind, nor will it make rhubarb grow up the milkmaid's leg.

Mind you, I've always been musical... Mother used to sit me on her knee and I'd whisper, 'Mummy, Mummy, sing me a lullaby do,' and she'd say: 'Certainly my angel, my wee bundle of happiness, hold my beer while I fetch me banjo.'