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Lenny Bruce Inspirational Quotes (60)

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Let me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a fantasy a terrible, terrible lie that someone gave the people long ago.
Lenny Bruce
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Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.
Lenny Bruce
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Certain things are complete superstition and have no validity at all in the Bible. Yeah. They're just the antithesis of everything that is correct intellectually.
Lenny Bruce
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You put a guy on a desert island, he'll do it to mud, a chicken, a barrel, anything, a knothole.
Lenny Bruce
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I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as taking money from someone else's pocket and putting it into mine, still remaining within the confines of the law.
Lenny Bruce
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I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God.
Lenny Bruce
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Never trust a preacher with more than two suits.
Lenny Bruce
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Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.
Lenny Bruce
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Wouldn't it be nice if all the people who are lonesome could live in one big dormitory, sleep in beds next to each other, talk, laugh, and keep the lights on as long as they want to?
Lenny Bruce
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Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
Lenny Bruce
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If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.
Lenny Bruce
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My only challenge was to tell my truth, man... figure out what I had to say. These days, it's not enough to boost that roomful of strangers. The young comic spends all their time trying to sound different from the million other jokesters grabbing for the mic.
Lenny Bruce
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What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.
Lenny Bruce
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Darwin's theory is as dead as he is. Everyone is surviving, fit or not. Years ago, any kid dumb enough to chase a shiny object down a well was dead, and out of the gene pool. Now they got the technology and medicine to save the fool so he can breed more open mouth breathers.
Lenny Bruce
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There is only what is and that's it. What should be is a dirty lie.
Lenny Bruce
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You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or they're blaming you for the plague, nothing is easier to pack than a sense of humor.
Lenny Bruce
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All my humor is based upon destruction and despair.
Lenny Bruce
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Satire is tragedy plus time.
Lenny Bruce
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There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.
Lenny Bruce
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If you believe there is a God, a God that made your body, and yet you think that you can do anything with that body that's dirty, then the fault lies with the manufacturer.
Lenny Bruce
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Once you sleep on feathers you can't go back to sleeping on the floor.
Lenny Bruce
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Life is a four-letter word.
Lenny Bruce
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Every group needs a comedian. A comic who is politically incorrect at the Berkeley campus might slay them at a Klan rally.
Lenny Bruce
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If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish
Lenny Bruce
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