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Larry David Inspirational Quotes (81)

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Perhaps I have a wider range than I'd given myself credit for.
Larry David
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It's always good to take something that's happened in your life and make something of it comedically.
Larry David
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The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature.
Larry David
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I'm not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.
Larry David
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Hitler really ruined that mustache for everybody. It’s really an interesting mustache, but now, no one can wear it.
Larry David
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You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.
Larry David
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I'd much rather be on stage talking to a couple of retards for twenty bucks than sitting at my desk thinking up jokes for...well let's say a few dollars more.
Larry David
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Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.
Larry David
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Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.
Larry David
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I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.
Larry David
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I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there.
Larry David
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I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.
Larry David
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I think Michael Moore is a hero. I love him.
Larry David
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I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.
Larry David
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Zero, zero belief in myself. And it's changed somewhat, but there's still a lot of that in me.
Larry David
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The addition of nuts in salad... I always find to be beneficial.
Larry David
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I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me.
Larry David
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It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy.
Larry David
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I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.
Larry David
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You can't do anything in life. The social barriers in life are so intense and horrific that every encounter is just fraught with so many problems and dread. Every social situation is a potential nightmare.
Larry David
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I like to be quiet, and let people find me rather than having to shout at them.
Larry David
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If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.
Larry David
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I'm a jerk, that's who I am. I'm like everybody else.
Larry David
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I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh.
Larry David
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