Jimmy Carr Inspirational Quotes (54)

Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.

I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.

It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don't. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing.

If I'm at home for the weekend - and that is almost never - I tend to get twitchy at about eight o'clock in the evening because my body clock is timed to go on stage. I don't know what to do with myself.

Once I was doing a sponsored walk. In the end I managed to raise so much money, I could afford a taxi.

If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?