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Jane Wagner Inspirational Quotes (26)

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The truth can be made up if you know how.
Jane Wagner
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Just think: your family are the people most likely to give you the flu.
Jane Wagner
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When I first came into this world, Elvis was already fat.
Jane Wagner
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People don't need sex so much as they need to be listened to.
Jane Wagner
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My mom says I have to be more positive, and I say life has to be more positive too or it's just not going to work.
Jane Wagner
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I worry that drugs have forced us to be more creative than we really are.
Jane Wagner
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Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.
Jane Wagner
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I am sick of being the victim of trends I reflect but don't even understand.
Jane Wagner
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Ahhhhhhhh. There is nothing natural about natural childbirth. It is as close to a freak accident as anything I can think of. Why I picked a time like this to go off drugs?
Jane Wagner
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One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist.
Jane Wagner
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Infinity: Time on an ego trip.
Jane Wagner
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A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?
Jane Wagner
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I have gained and lost the same 10 pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have deja vu!
Jane Wagner
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Reality is just a collective hunch.
Jane Wagner
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I worry that humanity has been advanced to its present level of incompetency because evolution works on the Peter Principle.
Jane Wagner
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If you are a human being, you might as well face it. You are going to rub a lot of people the wrong way.
Jane Wagner
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Childhood comes at a time in your life when you are too young to understand what you are going through. And you're too young to understand that you are too young to understand.
Jane Wagner
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I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes before you.
Jane Wagner
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The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.
Jane Wagner
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Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way.
Jane Wagner
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Like what's the point being a health nut by day if you're a coke head at night.
Jane Wagner
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What you try to bury just ends up burying you.
Jane Wagner
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Unless you are at a picnic, life is no picnic.
Jane Wagner
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Sex is such a personal thing - why do we insist on sharing it with another person?
Jane Wagner
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