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Eddie Izzard Inspirational Quotes (88)

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Fox hunting, there's big fox hunting thing, there's arguments in Britain about fox hunting. And they go around. They obviously hunt foxes because the foxes, they attack chickens. And posh people have an alliance with chickens just like in the First World War.
Eddie Izzard
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We stole countries with the cunning use of flags. Just sail around the world and stick a flag in. I claim India for Britain! They're going You can't claim us, we live here! Five hundred million of us! Do you have a flag …? No... Well, if you don't have a flag, then you can't have a country. Those are the rules... that I just made u
Eddie Izzard
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Everyone gets cards at the beginning of life. I am transgender, I decided to be honest and tell everyone about it, and that's it.
Eddie Izzard
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Comedy is like a very cokey, druggy sugar. You get hits of comedy, and it's very, More, give me more of that stuff, because serotonin is being released in the brain. So it's basically, everyone becomes serotonin junkies, and we are serotonin dealers. And that's what being a comedian is about.
Eddie Izzard
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America is the new Roman Empire. Remember what happened to Rome.
Eddie Izzard
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When you're more mature, you do start telling the truth, in odd situations. I'm sorry, I've broken a glass here. Is that expensive? I'll pay for it. I'm sorry. And you do that so that people in the room might go, What a strong personality that person has. I like to have sex with people with strong personalities.
Eddie Izzard
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Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away that's the deal.
Eddie Izzard
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It's a historical thing, up to the 19th century the English hated the French. Then in the 20th century the English started to hate the Germans - as we began to move alphabetically through the map of the world. Now, the year 2000, we are fine with the Germans... but the Hungarians are pissing us off.
Eddie Izzard
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I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.
Eddie Izzard
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He [Charlie Chaplin] was always playing as if it were to the camera, if you've seen the live shots of him when he's going to an opening night or something like that. And the skills that he had were beyond my ability to throw together. You just couldn't really compete with him. He was too athletic at that.
Eddie Izzard
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The bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of drama is to be truthful. You can be truthful and funny, but if you're not truthful in a drama than the audience leaves you.
Eddie Izzard
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So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain and Turkey! The Ottoman Empire, full of furniture for some reason. And the Austro-Hungarian Empire, famous for f-k all! Yes, all they did was slowly collapse like a flan in a cupboard.
Eddie Izzard
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Spiders frighten me. In response to the spider alerts for Australia, please can the Australian government remove all spiders from Australia and blow them into outer space.
Eddie Izzard
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It's my manifest destiny to wear a skirt in all countries.
Eddie Izzard
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I don't believe in God. I believe gods and devils are within us. It's our own battle. Our life's battle is to appeal to the gods within us, and to fight the devils within us.
Eddie Izzard
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I'd be happy to be taken as a woman - and that's what I was initially trying to do when I started throwing on dresses and stuff. But that wasn't going to happen because everyone kept calling me sir. So I thought I'd change the method and just start wearing what I wanted to wear.
Eddie Izzard
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Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. OK, we can swing with that. But performance 'debilitating' drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the 100 metres, fair play for you. That's pretty good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in the distance.
Eddie Izzard
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I appreciate your applause, but I don't do it for applause. I do it for cash, it's much better.
Eddie Izzard
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You have the American dream! The dream is to be born in a gutter and grow up, and then get all the money in the world and stick it in your ears and go THBBBBBT.
Eddie Izzard
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I'm into humanity. I don't believe in God, but I believe in human beings.
Eddie Izzard
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I don't believe in God. So I'm a non-believer in the non-visible. I'm a believer in us in humans.
Eddie Izzard
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I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever.
Eddie Izzard
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Little red cookbook! Little red cookbook!
Eddie Izzard
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Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others.
Eddie Izzard
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