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Dov Davidoff Inspirational Quotes (157)

Page 5 of 7
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I'd put my faith in god, but I haven't met him, and I've been hurt before.
Dov Davidoff
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Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.
Dov Davidoff
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I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
Dov Davidoff
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Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
Dov Davidoff
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Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.
Dov Davidoff
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Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
Dov Davidoff
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
Dov Davidoff
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Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.
Dov Davidoff
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The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.
Dov Davidoff
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Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
Dov Davidoff
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Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.
Dov Davidoff
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Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.
Dov Davidoff
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Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?
Dov Davidoff
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Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?
Dov Davidoff
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Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.
Dov Davidoff
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Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
Dov Davidoff
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A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.
Dov Davidoff
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Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
Dov Davidoff
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Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.
Dov Davidoff
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Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.
Dov Davidoff
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When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
Dov Davidoff
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I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
Dov Davidoff
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Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
Dov Davidoff
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False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.
Dov Davidoff
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