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Dov Davidoff Inspirational Quotes (157)

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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
Dov Davidoff
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Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
Dov Davidoff
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Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.
Dov Davidoff
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Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
Dov Davidoff
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Anyone who says I would never hit a woman hasn't met my x girlfriend.
Dov Davidoff
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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
Dov Davidoff
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
Dov Davidoff
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You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.
Dov Davidoff
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Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.
Dov Davidoff
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Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.
Dov Davidoff
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Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.
Dov Davidoff
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America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
Dov Davidoff
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The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.
Dov Davidoff
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You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.
Dov Davidoff
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The human spirit is indomitable, unless your talking specifically about the people I know.
Dov Davidoff
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America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.
Dov Davidoff
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Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
Dov Davidoff
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It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
Dov Davidoff
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
Dov Davidoff
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Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.
Dov Davidoff
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People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
Dov Davidoff
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Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
Dov Davidoff
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Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?
Dov Davidoff
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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
Dov Davidoff
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