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David Cross Inspirational Quotes (71)
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I've had plenty of negative reviews. I have my entire life.
David Cross
We get to see it! January 1st, 2000! We get to see... all those fundamentalist preachers having to do their backpedaling when the Armageddon doesn't occur.
David Cross
I'd say 95 percent of my audience was white. They were mostly kind of older hipster folks like myself.
David Cross
I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.
David Cross
I don't want to do 20 minutes on Donald Trump. I want to do 10 minutes and move on. I wouldn't even do that with a live show, because I don't want it to feel like An Evening Of Political Comedy.
David Cross
[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.
David Cross
I would say just stop watching me, I guess, at this point. That is what I do, and it probably is, in some way, a bit of a lecture. I can see how that's not something that would be enticing for you to watch in a stand-up hour.
David Cross
Hopefully people will be reinventing comedy forever and ever. This is just what I do, and it's a type of comedy.
David Cross
Florida was the low point.The entire state, yep. I'm not sure I'd go back.
David Cross
The underpinning of immigration concerns is xenophobia and racism and nationalism.
David Cross
High Times magazine is a notch intellectually below Highlights for Children. I mean, they're both great to read when you're baked, but come on, ya know.
David Cross
Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.
David Cross
The best thing about me is there are no skeletons.
David Cross
The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.
David Cross
I just did 101 shows in 86 different cities in America and Europe and Canada, and I'm not lying or exaggerating when I say, at the vast majority of shows, they loved it. There were encores, there were standing ovations.
David Cross
I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.
David Cross
I read the New York Times, and if I'm in a different city, I'll skim that paper.
David Cross
I know Dave [Attel] and we're friendly, and I have nothing but respect for him.
David Cross
I'm not going to benefit from free college education, but I think all those things are good for the country.
David Cross
I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.
David Cross
I think pornography is the only art form where you can be videotaped on a shaky handy cam sucking off a horse and be considered a star.
David Cross
I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff and the Republican stuff and the Ayn Rand followers, it doesn't let up for about half an hour. It gets hard and stays hard for a while.
David Cross
I'm finally going to be able to finally criticize [Hillary Clinton] without being accused of being a sexist - that idea. I'm not a fan, I don't like her, but you can't say anything without being accused of being a sexist pig, which is unfair.
David Cross
I work a lot and I like to get out and work but the work I do to make the other work work I'm not very good at.
David Cross
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