X

Sort by

Quote length

Sentiment

Change font

Change background

Dave Barry Inspirational Quotes (435)

Page 8 of 19
Filter & Style
Image
I really try to think cinematically, because that's how people read. They create a theater in their minds.
Dave Barry
Image
Can we move this conversation along, I'm getting frightfully tired of 'hoa'.
Dave Barry
Image
Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.
Dave Barry
Image
Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer.
Dave Barry
Image
I'm not saying that women don't think about sex also. I'm saying that women are capable, for at least brief periods of time, of not thinking about sex, and that most guys are not.
Dave Barry
Image
Panicky despair is an underrated element of writing.
Dave Barry
Image
There was nowhere to sit except the bunk, which was covered with rotting food, and a wooden stool, upon which sat a large fur-covered lump—an old cheese, perhaps, or a dead cat.
Dave Barry
Image
Eventually everyone has to die, except Elvis.
Dave Barry
Image
You can, legally, possibly hit and kill a fellow golfer with a ball, and there will not be a lot of trouble because the other golfers will refuse to stop and be witnesses because they will want to keep playing.
Dave Barry
Image
Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness.
Dave Barry
Image
Seriously? You won’t help me?” “Help yourself get killed? No, I won’t.
Dave Barry
Image
If everybody were a guy, the human race could easily get by on less than one twentieth the current number of shoes.
Dave Barry
Image
And what is the Scientific Community doing about these problems, young people? THEY'RE CLONING SHEEP. Great! Just what we need! Sheep that look MORE ALIKE than they already do! Thanks a lot, Scientific Community!
Dave Barry
Image
It's a real smug self-righteous punk kid saying nobody has the right to tell him what to do and how dare you put a sign up saying that I can't go on your property?
Dave Barry
Image
What was life like in the colonies? Probably the best word to describe it would be colonial.
Dave Barry
Image
If the people in Europe are SOOOOOO smart, how come so many of them can't seem to locate the deodorant, huh?
Dave Barry
Image
No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
Dave Barry
Image
If Black Stache laughed, you laughed. If he snarled, you snarled. If he breathed in your direction, you ran for cover.
Dave Barry
Image
Florida's number three industry, behind tourism and skin cancer, is voter fraud.
Dave Barry
Image
You should not confuse your career with your life.
Dave Barry
Image
I read Remembrance of Things Past in the original French. I never start the day without reading me some [Marcel] Proust.
Dave Barry
Image
Dogsled-riding is a sport that is relaxing as well as fragrant.
Dave Barry
Image
Like many members of the uncultured, Cheez-It consuming public, I am not good at grasping modern art.
Dave Barry
Image
A full-grown manatee, which can weigh more than 1,000 pounds, looks like the result of a genetic experiment involving a walrus and the Goodyear Blimp.
Dave Barry
Previous
Next