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Darynda Jones Inspirational Quotes (145)

Page 5 of 7
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Still, this whole grim reaper thing should have come with a manual. Or a diagram of some kind. A flowchart would have been nice.
Darynda Jones
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There comes a moment when you know you just aren't going to do anything esle productive for the rest of the day.-T-Shirt
Darynda Jones
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You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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She still wasn't convinced. So, if you were a guy, would you be into me? Hon, if I were a guy, I'd be gay. Yeah, me, too.
Darynda Jones
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You’re the reason I breathe
Darynda Jones
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An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
Darynda Jones
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When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.--T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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I pointed in the general vicinity of my left ovary, This is Beam Me Up. Then to my right. And this is Scotty. Garret chuckled and buried his face in his hands. He asked.
Darynda Jones
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I had yet to be a mother, but I would have thought it difficult to forget something it took thirty-seven hours of excruciating pain to push out from between my legs ~Charley Davidson
Darynda Jones
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Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.
Darynda Jones
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I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.
Darynda Jones
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I may not have any skeletons in my closet, but I do have a little box of souls in my sock drawer. —T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.
Darynda Jones
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I know how you feel. I’ve been analyzed to death as well. Not, like, professionally, though I did date a psych major who said I had attention issues. Or at least that’s what I think he said. I wasn’t really paying attention. Anyway, where was I?
Darynda Jones
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My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
Darynda Jones
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Dead people I could handle. They were usually beyond hysteria. This was the people-left behind part. The hard part.
Darynda Jones
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I lowered the gun but didn’t holster it. Not just yet. She could turn out to be psychotic. Or a door-to-door salesperson.
Darynda Jones
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Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.
Darynda Jones
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I was just passing by. Saw the commotion. Figured you were involved.
Darynda Jones
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There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
Darynda Jones
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Life is not about finding yourself. It's mostly about chocolate. T-Shirt
Darynda Jones
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The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?
Darynda Jones
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But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much taller than I was.
Darynda Jones
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He's helped me a lot over the years. I'm sure he has. You scratch his back. He scratches yours. I have skin allergies. I'm itchy.
Darynda Jones
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