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Craig Ferguson Inspirational Quotes (210)

Page 7 of 9
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Sometimes my pathology just spills out into the camera doesn't it?
Craig Ferguson
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Apple released the upgraded version of the iPhone 4, called the iPhone 4S. I think the S stands for suckers.
Craig Ferguson
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Being an American is something I wanted to be for a very long time, probably since I saw the moon landing when I was a child.
Craig Ferguson
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I've got young kids, so it suits me to do a job which keeps me in town right now.
Craig Ferguson
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It is Veterans Day, when we honor everyone who served in all of the campaigns. We honor them with dignity and respect, and of course mattress sales and tire discounts.
Craig Ferguson
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Halloween's eve is also known as mischief night. Kids are supposed go around playing pranks tonight. That's great, just what teenagers need -- another excuse to be jerks.
Craig Ferguson
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Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else.
Craig Ferguson
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I always appreciated my teachers. When I was 16, I gave them the greatest gift I could think of. I dropped out of school.
Craig Ferguson
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Much of television has been homogenized in the desire to avoid annoying or upsetting people.
Craig Ferguson
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The whole idea of re-releasing old movies does bother me a little bit. If they're going to re-release an old movie, I should be able to get in with my old ticket.
Craig Ferguson
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It's a great day for America, everybody! It's Monday, woo.
Craig Ferguson
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Its easier to feel a little more spiritual with a couple of bucks in your pocket.
Craig Ferguson
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I became a terrible drunk or alcoholic - or a good one depending on your point of view.
Craig Ferguson
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From this moment on I'd dedicate my life to rock and roll and take as many drugs as possible. What could possibly go wrong?
Craig Ferguson
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The Smurfs 2 is a great movie. The Smurfs are tiny little creatures that everybody loves. They're like Justin Bieber - minus the part about everybody loving him.
Craig Ferguson
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People talk to old people like they're children.'Oh you're very old aren't you?' Yeah I'm old. I'm not stupid.
Craig Ferguson
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Jeb Bush announced today on the Internet that he may run for president. The next presidential election could be Bush vs. Clinton. It will be like 1992 all over again except I won't be in rehab.
Craig Ferguson
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That's why Credit card companies are evil. Are they sponsoring the show tonight? ... They are Evil.
Craig Ferguson
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Betty White met with President Obama at the White House. President Obama invited Betty personally because she's great with animals. And the president's still having a tough time house-training Joe Biden.
Craig Ferguson
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People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay teeth.
Craig Ferguson
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Rush Limbaugh says if the health care bill passes, he will leave the country. The Democrats are upset, because if they knew that, they would have passed the bill years ago.
Craig Ferguson
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Aphrodisiacs come in many forms: food, drink, the internet.
Craig Ferguson
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I think I'll be Scottish in every movie I write. They always try to talk me out of it, but Woody Allen is always a nebbish New Yorker. Why shouldn't I be a goofy Glaswegian?
Craig Ferguson
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Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape.
Craig Ferguson
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