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Chris Rock Inspirational Quotes (199)

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Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.
Chris Rock
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A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.
Chris Rock
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If you're the president you only have two jobs: peace and money.
Chris Rock
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Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect.
Chris Rock
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Stop the violence! Can't we all just get along?
Chris Rock
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Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit out of a hat. Do something! What tricks does this guy have? I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat.. I'm in a box... and I ain't gonna eat!! That ain't no trick! That's called living in the projects!
Chris Rock
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Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.
Chris Rock
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You can't fake comedy - it's not like a movie, where a director can just cast a pretty face.
Chris Rock
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You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time!
Chris Rock
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I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house.
Chris Rock
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I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!'
Chris Rock
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I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they'd let me join the Ku Klux Klan!
Chris Rock
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I'm like the Hulk on stage. It's way over the top. That's Bizarro Chris. Sometimes I get off stage and go What did I say?! I'll watch one of my stand-up specials a year later and go Eww, that was mean.
Chris Rock
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Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.
Chris Rock
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The best part is just having a partner. There is no real worst part. I'm not going to say there's a worst part. I mean I'm a comedian - comedians like to work alone. So maybe I'm not the ideal guy to be married to, in that sense.
Chris Rock
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No, I want big ol' titties in my face!
Chris Rock
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All people naturally hate. My kid bites people now. I didn't teach my kid to bite anybody. Kids say mean stuff. Only through love do we get this evil out of them. Only through love and structure and discipline do they not hate. The kids that hate didn't learn anything, that's the problem.
Chris Rock
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A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.
Chris Rock
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Men are handicapped when it comes to arguing, 'cause we have a need to make sense.
Chris Rock
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If you live below your means, you can turn down stuff all the time.
Chris Rock
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You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.
Chris Rock
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You don't pay taxes they take them from your check. That's not a payment - that's a 'jack.
Chris Rock
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My first year on 'SNL', I made $90,000 dollars.
Chris Rock
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Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
Chris Rock
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