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Bill Maher Inspirational Quotes (414)

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I think I know now why we are occupying Iraq. In case we have to sell America and move to a smaller country.
Bill Maher
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New Rule: The people of America who were most in favor of the Iraq War must now go there and fight it.
Bill Maher
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The only sport I really get into is snowboarding. Cause that's the only sport where they perform a half pipe just after smoking a full pipe.
Bill Maher
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Ebola has arrived in New York City. And I say, 'if it can make it there...it can make it anywhere!'
Bill Maher
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The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough.
Bill Maher
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To paraphrase the great Will Rogers, El Rusho never met a pharmacist he did not like.
Bill Maher
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I would rather put up with Rush Limbaugh and live in a country where we all do have freedom of speech.
Bill Maher
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I don't say that I'm an atheist. I don't like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I say I don't know. And if you don't know - and you don't - just man up and say you don't know. Don't turn to silly stories and ancient myths.
Bill Maher
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I would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation.
Bill Maher
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My father said, Bring along your best girl. This is something you say to a pimp!
Bill Maher
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Of course, there are questions that plague all of us. How did we get here? What happens when we die? Is there a heaven? Am I on the list? Who let the dogs out?
Bill Maher
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The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
Bill Maher
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The people [in the USA] are not very well informed. They certainly don`t know history. They certainly are not interested in foreign affairs very much, unless it comes right to their doorstep. They all learn history through wars. They learn geography through wars.
Bill Maher
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Atheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.
Bill Maher
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It is appalling to make Jesus out of food! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go bake some communion wafers.
Bill Maher
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The president finally explained why he sat in that classroom on 9/11 for 7 minutes after he was told the country was under attack. He said he was 'collecting his thoughts.' What a time to start a new hobby.'
Bill Maher
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This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air.
Bill Maher
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I'm worried about a permanent Republican majority. That's what I'm worried about for the future.
Bill Maher
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We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.
Bill Maher
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Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic.
Bill Maher
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A group of Cuban Americans denounced the Castro government as a fascist regime that monitors and scrutinized its citizens' everyday existence. And then they excused themselves to go watch Big Brother.
Bill Maher
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It's a little strange when you have never been to war, and you eye-roll about a guy who's got shrapnel still in his body, as Chuck Hagel does.
Bill Maher
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Shouldn't we be against procreation at this point in time? With overpopulation and the strain on the resources on this planet? Shouldn't we reward people who don't spawn?
Bill Maher
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Do you think it's possible that when we're on something like marijuana or mushrooms and we believe we're having a really spiritual experience that we're just high?
Bill Maher
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