X

Sort by

Quote length

Sentiment

Change font

Change background

Artie Lange Inspirational Quotes (43)

Page 1 of 2
Filter & Style
Image
Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
Artie Lange
Image
Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.
Artie Lange
Image
Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
Artie Lange
Image
You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
Artie Lange
Image
The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
Artie Lange
Image
I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
Artie Lange
Image
It's good to be alive.
Artie Lange
Image
Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.
Artie Lange
Image
I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
Artie Lange
Image
Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.
Artie Lange
Image
But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.
Artie Lange
Image
Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that
Artie Lange
Image
Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
Artie Lange
Image
All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
Artie Lange
Image
When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.
Artie Lange
Image
I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.
Artie Lange
Image
When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
Artie Lange
Image
It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world
Artie Lange
Image
If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
Artie Lange
Image
I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.
Artie Lange
Image
I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.
Artie Lange
Image
I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.
Artie Lange
Image
I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
Artie Lange
Image
'Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
Artie Lange
Previous
Next