X

Sort by

Quote length

Sentiment

Change font

Change background

Ambrose Inspirational Quotes (1077)

Page 22 of 45
Filter & Style
Image
NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
OYSTER, n. A slimy, gobby shellfish which civilization gives men the hardihood to eat without removing its entrails! The shells are sometimes given to the poor.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
RADICALISM, n. The conservatism of to-morrow injected into the affairs of to-day.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
MAMMALIA, n.pl. A family of vertebrate animals whose females in a state of nature suckle their young, but when civilized and enlightened put them out to nurse, or use the bottle.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
There is no time of life past learning something.
Ambrose
Image
WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice to him it should be said that he did not want to.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, author of 'Cogito ergo sum' to demonstrate the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved 'Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum' 'I think that I think, therefore I think that I am' as close an approach.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
AFFLICTION, n. An acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of disease by the patient's pulse and purse.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
PESSIMISM- philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
PICKANINNY, n. The young of the Procyanthropos, or Americanus dominans. It is small, black and charged with political fatalities.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
POLICE, n. An armed force for protection and participation.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
BATH, n. A kind of mystic ceremony substituted for religious worship, with what spiritual efficacy has not been determined.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the censor was an inspector of public morals, but the public morals of modern nations will not bear inspection.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
adore, v.t. To venerate expectantly.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
ANTIPATHY, n. The sentiment inspired by one's friend's friend.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
MAGNITUDE, n. Size [that is] purely relative. If everything in the universe were increased 1,000 diameters nothing would be any larger than it was before, but if one thing remain unchanged all the others would be larger than they had been.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
A bad marriage is like an electrical thrilling machine: it makes you dance, but you can't let go.
Ambrose Bierce
Previous
Next