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Ambrose Inspirational Quotes (1077)

Page 11 of 45
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
Ambrose Bierce
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INJUSTICE, n. A burden which of all those that we load upon others and carry ourselves is lightest in the hands and heaviest upon the back.
Ambrose Bierce
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe.
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God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past.
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Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
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REDRESS, n. Reparation without satisfaction.
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LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure.
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Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.
Ambrose Bierce
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
Ambrose Bierce
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As a means of dispensing formulated ignorance our boasted public school system is not without merit it spreads out education sufficiently thin to give everyone enough to make him a more competent fool than he would have been without it.
Ambrose Bierce
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Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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INDIFFERENT, adj. Imperfectly sensible to distinctions among things.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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NON-COMBATANT, n. A dead Quaker.
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OBSTINATE, adj. Inaccessible to the truth as it is manifest in the splendor and stress of our advocacy.
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Twice – Once too often.
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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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Conversation: A fair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor.
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Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
Ambrose Bierce
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Age - That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer the vigor to commit.
Ambrose Bierce
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Hippogriff, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle. The hippogriff was actually, therefore, only one-quarter eagle, which is two dollars and fifty cents in gold. The study of zoology is full of surprises.
Ambrose Bierce
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PLATITUDE, n. The fundamental element and special glory of popular literature. A thought that snores in words that smoke. All that is mortal of a departed truth. A jelly-fish withering on the shore of the sea of thought. A desiccated epigram.
Ambrose Bierce
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Inhumanity, n. One of the signal and characteristic qualities of humanity.
Ambrose Bierce
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