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Ambrose Bierce Inspirational Quotes (940)

Page 9 of 40
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pleasure, n. The least hateful form of dejection.
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NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.
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To seek a justification for a decision already made.
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MUGWUMP, n. In politics one afflicted with self-respect and addicted to the vice of independence. A term of contempt.
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CALUMNUS, n. A graduate of the School for Scandal.
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Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.
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Definition: CONNOISSEUR, n. A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.
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Adolescence: A stage between infancy and adultery.
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moral, adj. Conforming to a local and mutable standard of right. Having the quality of general expediency.
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A malefactor who atones for making your writing nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible.
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recollect, v. To recall with additions something not previously known.
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Woman absent is woman dead.
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The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forebearance among men.
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gratitude, n. A sentiment lying midway between a benefit received and a benefit expected.
Ambrose Bierce
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TRUST, n. In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working men, widows of small means, orphans in the care of guardians and the courts, with many similar malefactors and public enemies.
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Evolutionary biology is genuinely scientific, but more than that it opens the door to a world more marvellous than any Christian fundamentalist has ever read into the pages of the Bible.
Ambrose Bierce
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Kiss. n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for bliss.
Ambrose Bierce
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MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.
Ambrose Bierce
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REPRESENTATIVE, n. In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in the next.
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self-esteem, n. An erroneous appraisal.
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Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.
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predilection, n. The preparatory stage of disillusion.
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J, n. A consonant in English, but some nations use it as a vowel . . . from a Latin verb, jacere, to throw, because when a stone is thrown at a dog the dog's tail assumes that shape.
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HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.
Ambrose Bierce
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