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Adam Carolla Inspirational Quotes (135)

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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.
Adam Carolla
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.
Adam Carolla
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I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.
Adam Carolla
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.
Adam Carolla
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Maybe it's weird, but I don't feel in any way, shape or form that I'm taking over his show.
Adam Carolla
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
Adam Carolla
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I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
Adam Carolla
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.
Adam Carolla
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
Adam Carolla
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He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
Adam Carolla
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It's something I've always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
Adam Carolla
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
Adam Carolla
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
Adam Carolla
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No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians I'm just not a reader.
Adam Carolla
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
Adam Carolla
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
Adam Carolla
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I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
Adam Carolla
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.
Adam Carolla
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
Adam Carolla
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I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
Adam Carolla
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I don't know anything about computers.
Adam Carolla
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We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
Adam Carolla
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
Adam Carolla
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I am not a good cue card reader.
Adam Carolla
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