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If those who give are conscious of their own generosity and those who receive feel indebted, they are no longer family but rather strangers doing business.

Zicheng Hong

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Zicheng Hong
Rather
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If you know that whatever is made inevitable breaks down, you needn't seek too hard for achievement. If you know that all living beings inevitably die, you needn't work too hard on health lore.
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When one is not slipshod in small matters, not hypocritical in secret, and not reckless in disappointment, only then is one a true hero.
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The sickness of indulging desires can be treated, but the sickness of clinging to abstract principles is hard to treat. Obstacles presented by events and objects can be removed, but obstacles presented by social principles are hard to remove.
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Delicious foods are drugs that will inflame the gut and rot the bones, but there is no harm if one eats moderately. Delightful things are all purveyors of destruction and decadence, but there is no regret if one enjoys them moderately.
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Do not think about whatever service you may have done for others think about what you may have done to offend them. Don't forget what others have done for you forget what others have done to offend you.
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Your own feelings may be reasonable or unreasonable how can you expect others to always be reasonable? It is useful to see things in this light and thereby correct the contradictions in your expectations for yourself and others.
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Desires that are just are termed Truth. Without desires, Truth cannot be understood.
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Unexpected hardship refines people if you can accept it, both mind and body will benefit. If you cannot accept it, on the other hand, both mind and body will be harmed.
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People are considered pure of heart when they do not approach power and pomp but those who can be near without being affected are the purest of all. People are considered high-minded when they do not know how to plot and contrive but those who know how yet do not do so are the highest of all.
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For those who reflect on themselves, everything they encounter is medicine. For those who attack others, every thought is a weapon. One is the way to initiate all good, one is the way to deepen all evil. They are as far apart as sky and earth.
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If a poor house is well kept, or a poor girl well groomed, there is elegance if not beauty. If good people should come upon hard times, why should they immediately give up on themselves?
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Public behavior is nurtured in private earthshaking measures come form careful steps.
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Think about food on a full stomach and you find you don't care about taste. Think of lust after making love, and you find you don't care about sex. Therefore, if people always reflect on the regret they will feel afterward to forestall folly at the moment, they will be stable and will not err in action.
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Those who live simply are often pure, while those who live luxuriously may be slavish and servile. It seems that the will is clarified by plainness, while conduct is ruined by indulgence.
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When those who give charity do so without any sense of self-satisfaction and without any thought of reward, even a small gift is great. When those who aid others calculate their own sacrifice and demand gratitude and recompense, even a great gift is small.
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A grub in filth is dirty, but it changes into a cicada and sips dew in the autumn breeze. Rotting plants have no luster, but they turn into foxfire and glow in the summer moonlight. So we know that purity emerges from impurity, and light is born from darkness.
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To get rid of villains and knaves, it is necessary to give them a way out. If you don't give them any leeway at all, they will be like trapped rats. If every way out is closed to them, they will chew up everything good.
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If you are not lax when at leisure, you will be effective when busy. If you are not absentminded in tranquility, that will be useful in action. If you are not hypocritical in private, that will show up in public.
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You should not be too much of a purist in your way of life, for you need to be able to accept all that is foul. You should not be too clear in making distinctions in social interactions, for you need to accept everyone whether they are good or bad, wise or foolish.
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People's shortcomings should be treated with tact if you expose them crudely, this is attacking weakness with a weakness. When people are stubborn, it requires skill to influence them if you treat them with anger and spite, this is treating stubbornness with stubbornness.
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