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Zach Galifianakis

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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
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More quotes by Zach Galifianakis

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Yesterday, I masturbated for 45 minutes... with salad tongs.
Zach Galifianakis
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You save 15 more minutes of sleep if you are a man and you don't have to shave.
Zach Galifianakis
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When a role seems fun it's easy to play. It kind of comes organically.
Zach Galifianakis
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I once walked in on my grandparents making love...And that's why I don't eat raisins.
Zach Galifianakis
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We talked about politics constantly in my family growing up in North Carolina. There were always debates. Being of Greek background, it's in our blood to drink coffee and talk politics.
Zach Galifianakis
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I wish I could sit back and say, 'Oh, I'm gonna wait for a Merchant-Ivory film to come my way. Or Ivory-Merchant. Whatever it's called. But you just take what's given and then, hopefully, down the road you can be more choosy and only do, say, Wayans brothers movies. That's my goal: to be more Merchant-Ivory-Wayans.
Zach Galifianakis
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I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me!
Zach Galifianakis
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The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.
Zach Galifianakis
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You know you're getting fat when your socks don't fit.
Zach Galifianakis
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It's fun for me to couple emotion with comedy. I think it helps comedy. I think a lot of times American comedies don't play on emotion too much.
Zach Galifianakis
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Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery. I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.
Zach Galifianakis
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Reciting lines is hard making stuff up is much, much easier.
Zach Galifianakis
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When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.
Zach Galifianakis
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My comfort zone is press conferences.
Zach Galifianakis
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I find anger to be funny. I find people that are so wrapped up in their own personalities to be funny, and lost. Like myself in real life.
Zach Galifianakis
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I watch a happy person doing stand-up, and I go, What the hell is this? This person's happy! You need internal conflict. You need the guy to be out of step with society. It's a tool for comedy.
Zach Galifianakis
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I don't want to do an edgy show, I didn't want bad language. I think edginess is the new hackiness.
Zach Galifianakis
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People get TV deals by doing something in their grandmother's basement. It is definitely the wave. Everybody is trying to do all that stuff. I mean, the Internet is the only reason that I've gotten work is because I've somehow created a line and people have seen it. And then I've been asked to auditions.
Zach Galifianakis
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There's more to life than being an actor in a Hollywood movie. I'm not going to adapt my life after that existence, where a lot of people do. And they get the publicist, and they get all that stuff, and it becomes them. I think it's a stupid way to live your life. A really dumb way to live your life.
Zach Galifianakis
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American society loves to prop people up and then take them down.
Zach Galifianakis