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I've always wanted to have a Greek sitcom called Olive Lucy.

Zach Galifianakis

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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Called
Wanted
Always
Olive
Olives
Lucy
Sitcom
Greek

More quotes by Zach Galifianakis

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I'm proud of The Hangover, but to be in movies like this, which are really the only places I can get work, it's really quite the opposite of what I am. I like sensitive art-house movies. I'm not even much of a partier. I mean, I'll drink myself into oblivion alone in my car.
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Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing.
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I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do.
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The other day, I got a henna tattoo that says Forever.
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I'm terrible at heights. I hate it. I'm glad I'm only 5'7.
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My New Year's resolution was to stop saying 'You go, girl' to myself.
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The whole thing about working in front of the camera is to make people laugh when they're not supposed to.
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I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.
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I've always been attracted to sad. If you look at Woody Allen movies, he's often playing a sad clown, and it's always been interesting. And angry clown is even more interesting.
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I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I'm stunning. But I've gained about twenty pounds over the past two years, and the more weight I've put on, the more success I've had. If you drew a diagram of weight gain and me getting more work, a mathematician would draw some conclusions from that.
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I haven't been hit since Leon Spinks hit me in '92.
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I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are mean.
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My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that was deaf. They were so good.
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You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also have cerebral-palsy-dar.
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You write things that are of interest to you. There's no focus group.
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I'm the most mellow person offstage. I think it's just, going onstage lets me get out some frustration that I'm too shy to do in real life. Instead of doing it in private, I'd rather do it in front of 1,000 people who've paid $25 to see me lose my mind.
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People are trying to prove things. And I probably have that. I probably do. Probably guilty of it, in a way.
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I don't like to have anybody tell me to be in a place at certain times. That's kind of the advantage of stand up. You're self-employed.
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You know, sometimes if you work - if you do a lot of takes and you work long hours, for me, at least, there is a delirium that starts kicking in on the fifteenth hour, and that can help. Below the just thirteenth hour is where I have a concern, because everybody's so tired.
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I have a 60-acre farm in North Carolina, and I have a tractor and a farmhouse. As soon as I groom the land, I want to put cabins around and have a place where people can write and hang out. It'll be either that or an all-black nudist colony.
Zach Galifianakis