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I've always wanted to have a Greek sitcom called Olive Lucy.
Zach Galifianakis
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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Wanted
Always
Olive
Olives
Lucy
Sitcom
Greek
Called
More quotes by Zach Galifianakis
I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me!
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I don't like cursing in movies. I feel like cursing has become the new hackiness. You try to find substitutions for cursing.
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We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the Girlfriend in a Coma is, like, really funny.
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My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that was deaf. They were so good.
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My father used to beat me with his belt...while it was still on him.
Zach Galifianakis
Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not that kind of person.
Zach Galifianakis
My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron...and a lot like Patrick Ewing.
Zach Galifianakis
I'd like to do a reality show with four white people...who are dropped off in a really bad black neighborhood. And the show would be called...Cracker Hunt.
Zach Galifianakis
Reciting lines is hard making stuff up is much, much easier.
Zach Galifianakis
You know you're getting fat when your socks don't fit.
Zach Galifianakis
I live in Los Angeles and I had been drinking one night, so I was on the walk of fame and I saw Tony Danza's star and I started urinating on it. Just yelling out, 'Who's the boss now?'
Zach Galifianakis
I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do.
Zach Galifianakis
I was just thinking how unfortunate it'd be to be a fat girl named Candy.
Zach Galifianakis
I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night.
Zach Galifianakis
My brother has ADD, which is weird because he drives a Ford Focus. I told my brother that joke but he didn't laugh because he got distracted by my shoe strings.
Zach Galifianakis
My forte is awkwardness.
Zach Galifianakis
I don't know what my assistant would do besides get me pot.
Zach Galifianakis
I call my balls the bush twins.
Zach Galifianakis
'Baskets' isn't a CBS show. Nothing against that, but this is an off-kilter show on cable that the channel lets you do interesting things. Look, if it works, it works. And if it doesn't, it's just a miniseries.
Zach Galifianakis
I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock.
Zach Galifianakis
