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When you're doing standup you're kind of doing, Hey. I thought of this. This may be funny.
Zach Galifianakis
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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Hey
Funny
Thought
May
Kind
More quotes by Zach Galifianakis
At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?
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You save 15 more minutes of sleep if you are a man and you don't have to shave.
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I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.
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I have to stop crying when I watch The View. It's not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry for that couch.
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I wish I could sit back and say, 'Oh, I'm gonna wait for a Merchant-Ivory film to come my way. Or Ivory-Merchant. Whatever it's called. But you just take what's given and then, hopefully, down the road you can be more choosy and only do, say, Wayans brothers movies. That's my goal: to be more Merchant-Ivory-Wayans.
Zach Galifianakis
You're not supposed to be accepting trophies. You're supposed to be in the back being mad that people are getting trophies.
Zach Galifianakis
I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny.
Zach Galifianakis
I'm not versed enough in constitutional law to run for office. I'd have to go back to school or something.
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If you read my blog, you know I'm a pilates freak. And by pilates, I mean waffles.
Zach Galifianakis
The whole thing about working in front of the camera is to make people laugh when they're not supposed to.
Zach Galifianakis
I'm the most mellow person offstage. I think it's just, going onstage lets me get out some frustration that I'm too shy to do in real life. Instead of doing it in private, I'd rather do it in front of 1,000 people who've paid $25 to see me lose my mind.
Zach Galifianakis
Head gear, plus acne equals...table for one in the cafeteria.
Zach Galifianakis
Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There's just too much money.
Zach Galifianakis
The problem with these interviews is that there's no sarcastic font.
Zach Galifianakis
'Baskets' isn't a CBS show. Nothing against that, but this is an off-kilter show on cable that the channel lets you do interesting things. Look, if it works, it works. And if it doesn't, it's just a miniseries.
Zach Galifianakis
I don't like to have anybody tell me to be in a place at certain times. That's kind of the advantage of stand up. You're self-employed.
Zach Galifianakis
I call my balls the bush twins.
Zach Galifianakis
I just try to keep myself a traditionalist. I liked being an underground comic doing my thing. I want to maintain that. I just do.
Zach Galifianakis
I think sadness and anger are really fertile ground for comedy. No one is really interested in a happy person doing comedy.
Zach Galifianakis
Have you seen that show on CBS called 'The Amazing Race'? Is that show about white people?
Zach Galifianakis
