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I'm an American so its kind of hard for me to talk about 9/11. So whenever someone brings it up in a conversation, I say I didn't like 9/11.

Zach Galifianakis

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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Talk
American
Funny
Didn
Someone
Brings
Hard
Whenever
Kind
Conversation
Like
Humor

More quotes by Zach Galifianakis

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I don't like cursing in movies. I feel like cursing has become the new hackiness. You try to find substitutions for cursing.
Zach Galifianakis
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You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.
Zach Galifianakis
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At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?
Zach Galifianakis
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I'm the most mellow person offstage. I think it's just, going onstage lets me get out some frustration that I'm too shy to do in real life. Instead of doing it in private, I'd rather do it in front of 1,000 people who've paid $25 to see me lose my mind.
Zach Galifianakis
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I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.
Zach Galifianakis
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I'm terrible at heights. I hate it. I'm glad I'm only 5'7.
Zach Galifianakis
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Head gear, plus acne equals...table for one in the cafeteria.
Zach Galifianakis
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I watch a happy person doing stand-up, and I go, What the hell is this? This person's happy! You need internal conflict. You need the guy to be out of step with society. It's a tool for comedy.
Zach Galifianakis
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I just try to keep myself a traditionalist. I liked being an underground comic doing my thing. I want to maintain that. I just do.
Zach Galifianakis
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You save 15 more minutes of sleep if you are a man and you don't have to shave.
Zach Galifianakis
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I think comedy is a really, really good tool for trying to say something.
Zach Galifianakis
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I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do.
Zach Galifianakis
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Don't boo people! Don't boo! Be more specific! Like, 'WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?! I HATE THAT! I HATE IT!'
Zach Galifianakis
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I don't mean to be gross, but the only time it's good to yell I have diarrhea is when you're playing Scrabble because it's worth a shitload of points.
Zach Galifianakis
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I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I'm stunning. But I've gained about twenty pounds over the past two years, and the more weight I've put on, the more success I've had. If you drew a diagram of weight gain and me getting more work, a mathematician would draw some conclusions from that.
Zach Galifianakis
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I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me!
Zach Galifianakis
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I like dark comedies. That's why I like the Wayans Brothers.
Zach Galifianakis
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My comfort zone is press conferences.
Zach Galifianakis
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I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night.
Zach Galifianakis
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People get TV deals by doing something in their grandmother's basement. It is definitely the wave. Everybody is trying to do all that stuff. I mean, the Internet is the only reason that I've gotten work is because I've somehow created a line and people have seen it. And then I've been asked to auditions.
Zach Galifianakis