Quote

My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that was deaf. They were so good.

Zach Galifianakis

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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Another
Dinner
Good
Couple
Humor
Playing
Went
Charades
Party
Deaf
Funny
Ended
Night
Girlfriend

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Reciting lines is hard making stuff up is much, much easier.
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I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.
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You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.
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Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There's just too much money.
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I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I'm stunning. But I've gained about twenty pounds over the past two years, and the more weight I've put on, the more success I've had. If you drew a diagram of weight gain and me getting more work, a mathematician would draw some conclusions from that.
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You save 15 more minutes of sleep if you are a man and you don't have to shave.
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Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing.
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I don't want to do an edgy show, I didn't want bad language. I think edginess is the new hackiness.
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I have a 60-acre farm in North Carolina, and I have a tractor and a farmhouse. As soon as I groom the land, I want to put cabins around and have a place where people can write and hang out. It'll be either that or an all-black nudist colony.
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But comedy is like music, it appeals to some people. Some people like Creed, those people are usually pretty stupid. But they probably also like Carrot Top. I would say that they're part of the same ilk.
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The problem with these interviews is that there's no sarcastic font.
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People are trying to prove things. And I probably have that. I probably do. Probably guilty of it, in a way.
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I'm proud of The Hangover, but to be in movies like this, which are really the only places I can get work, it's really quite the opposite of what I am. I like sensitive art-house movies. I'm not even much of a partier. I mean, I'll drink myself into oblivion alone in my car.
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You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.
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I do whatever comes my way. But I get burned out on stage. It's a lonely world. I think part of the romanticism about being on the road is you get to meet a lot of - my mom once told me, You've probably got a woman at every port. Like I'm a pirate. Obviously she doesn't know her son that well.
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My headshot is a scratch and sniff, it smells like failure and onions.
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My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron...and a lot like Patrick Ewing.
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I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night.
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I know my face is turning red. I don't want you to interpret it as being embarrassed. It's rage. The color of my face is rage.
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I live in Los Angeles and I had been drinking one night, so I was on the walk of fame and I saw Tony Danza's star and I started urinating on it. Just yelling out, 'Who's the boss now?'
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