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You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also have cerebral-palsy-dar.

Zach Galifianakis

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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Funny
Tell
Also
Palsy
People
Cerebral
Automatically
Fats
Gay
Humor

More quotes by Zach Galifianakis

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The problem with these interviews is that there's no sarcastic font.
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My New Year's resolution was to stop saying 'You go, girl' to myself.
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My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron...and a lot like Patrick Ewing.
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Reciting lines is hard making stuff up is much, much easier.
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I just try to keep myself a traditionalist. I liked being an underground comic doing my thing. I want to maintain that. I just do.
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I don't want my personal life to change. I don't understand why people strive for fame. I know it's ironic for me to be saying this, but this will be the last one I do.
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I like to read the bible in public places where people are watching me read it. And I like to mumur out to myself: 'Bullshit!'
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I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do.
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I am going to be the next Ryan Gosling.
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I once walked in on my grandparents making love...And that's why I don't eat raisins.
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I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock.
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People are trying to prove things. And I probably have that. I probably do. Probably guilty of it, in a way.
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It's not good for comedy to be like, 'Thanks for liking me'. Being popular is poison.
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When a role seems fun it's easy to play. It kind of comes organically.
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I'm proud of The Hangover, but to be in movies like this, which are really the only places I can get work, it's really quite the opposite of what I am. I like sensitive art-house movies. I'm not even much of a partier. I mean, I'll drink myself into oblivion alone in my car.
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When you're doing standup you're kind of doing, Hey. I thought of this. This may be funny.
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You write things that are of interest to you. There's no focus group.
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The other day, I got a henna tattoo that says Forever.
Zach Galifianakis
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You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.
Zach Galifianakis
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Hookers don't like to snuggle.
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