Quote

You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also have cerebral-palsy-dar.

Zach Galifianakis

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Humor
Funny
Tell
Also
Palsy
People
Cerebral
Automatically
Fats
Gay

More quotes by Zach Galifianakis

Image
My real last name is Galifianakisburg.
Zach Galifianakis
Image
Head gear, plus acne equals...table for one in the cafeteria.
Zach Galifianakis
Image
I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me!
Zach Galifianakis
Image
The whole thing about working in front of the camera is to make people laugh when they're not supposed to.
Zach Galifianakis
Image
I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are mean.
Zach Galifianakis
Image
You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.
Zach Galifianakis
Image
I don't like to have anybody tell me to be in a place at certain times. That's kind of the advantage of stand up. You're self-employed.
Zach Galifianakis
Image
You write things that are of interest to you. There's no focus group.
Zach Galifianakis
Image
I think if you come out to California trying to be an actor, it's pretty hard. There's desperation. A lot of people are desperate, and a lot of people are clueless, including me. It's hard to try to figure it out. I've never told you, but I have head shots that if you saw them... they're so terrible! It's so embarrassing.
Zach Galifianakis
Image
You're not supposed to be accepting trophies. You're supposed to be in the back being mad that people are getting trophies.
Zach Galifianakis
Image
Reciting lines is hard making stuff up is much, much easier.
Zach Galifianakis
Image
I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny.
Zach Galifianakis
Image
I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal.
Zach Galifianakis
Image
I want to do another reality show. It's based on The Mole. It's about sexually transmitted diseases. It's called God, I Hope That's a Mole.
Zach Galifianakis
Image
I like to read the bible in public places where people are watching me read it. And I like to mumur out to myself: 'Bullshit!'
Zach Galifianakis
Image
I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.
Zach Galifianakis
Image
I kind of put myself out there as is. I'm a quiet person. I don't know if that's surprising. I'm a Pilates junkie.
Zach Galifianakis
Image
Do you ever do something, and then think to yourself: That's So Raven?
Zach Galifianakis
Image
I've always been attracted to sad. If you look at Woody Allen movies, he's often playing a sad clown, and it's always been interesting. And angry clown is even more interesting.
Zach Galifianakis
Image
I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night.
Zach Galifianakis