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My father used to beat me with his belt...while it was still on him.
Zach Galifianakis
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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
Father
Stills
Used
Belt
Still
Belts
Beat
Beats
Humor
Funny
More quotes by Zach Galifianakis
Tigers love pepper...they hate cinnamon.
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The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.
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I am not into publicity. I'm not good at it. I get anxiety about it.
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I think comedy does have that powerful thing that doesn't seem too preachy because you're also making people laugh, so it's really kind of a good tool for messaging.
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Reciting lines is hard making stuff up is much, much easier.
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Have you seen that show on CBS called 'The Amazing Race'? Is that show about white people?
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My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.
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I dream of starting a three-man country trio called the Chixie Dicks.
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There's more to life than being an actor in a Hollywood movie. I'm not going to adapt my life after that existence, where a lot of people do. And they get the publicist, and they get all that stuff, and it becomes them. I think it's a stupid way to live your life. A really dumb way to live your life.
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Element of surprise is really fun for me in comedy. I have to be surprised, and everything's been done.
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My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron...and a lot like Patrick Ewing.
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The other day, I got a henna tattoo that says Forever.
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My forte is awkwardness.
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I was just thinking how unfortunate it'd be to be a fat girl named Candy.
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A good stand-up, you lead the audience. You don't kowtow to the audience. Sometimes the audience is wrong. I always think the audience is wrong.
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I want to do another reality show. It's based on The Mole. It's about sexually transmitted diseases. It's called God, I Hope That's a Mole.
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I think sadness and anger are really fertile ground for comedy. No one is really interested in a happy person doing comedy.
Zach Galifianakis
You know you're getting fat when your socks don't fit.
Zach Galifianakis
I kind of put myself out there as is. I'm a quiet person. I don't know if that's surprising. I'm a Pilates junkie.
Zach Galifianakis
You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also have cerebral-palsy-dar.
Zach Galifianakis