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Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing.
Zach Galifianakis
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Zach Galifianakis
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: October 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Zacharius Knight Galifinakis
Zachary Knight Galifianakis
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Died
Today
Humor
Teacher
High
Reading
Funny
Kids
Online
School
Sex
More quotes by Zach Galifianakis
My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.
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I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.
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I don't want my personal life to change. I don't understand why people strive for fame. I know it's ironic for me to be saying this, but this will be the last one I do.
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I want to do another reality show. It's based on The Mole. It's about sexually transmitted diseases. It's called God, I Hope That's a Mole.
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The congressmen and senators used to go have a drink in D.C. They would disagree all day long, but they would find that time to sit down and learn about each other personally. I think that's totally wiped out I don't think it really exists anymore.
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When I do stand-up for a long time, I'll get burned out, then I'll get an acting gig. For me, the grass is always greener. I'd like to do a mixture of all of it. My goal is just to do small movies that I've written. That's what I'm trying to do now, just write smaller movies.
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I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny.
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I was just thinking how unfortunate it'd be to be a fat girl named Candy.
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I'm Greek. My body produces feta cheese.
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I like to read the bible in public places where people are watching me read it. And I like to mumur out to myself: 'Bullshit!'
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I dream of starting a three-man country trio called the Chixie Dicks.
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A good stand-up, you lead the audience. You don't kowtow to the audience. Sometimes the audience is wrong. I always think the audience is wrong.
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My real last name is Galifianakisburg.
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Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not that kind of person.
Zach Galifianakis
American society loves to prop people up and then take them down.
Zach Galifianakis
My comfort zone is press conferences.
Zach Galifianakis
You write things that are of interest to you. There's no focus group.
Zach Galifianakis
Reciting lines is hard making stuff up is much, much easier.
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I know my face is turning red. I don't want you to interpret it as being embarrassed. It's rage. The color of my face is rage.
Zach Galifianakis
I just could just shave my beard, and nobody would recognize me. Although I look like Jodie Foster.
Zach Galifianakis
